Receptions and Honeymoons
by angil
Summary: Part of the Bride of Alucard chronicles, Ella and Alucard are now married, but what happens at the reception & honeymoon, you know it will be anything but normal A short story of Receptions & Honeymoons AxOC R&R AU
1. Reception

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THIS IS FOR ALL THE LADIES OUT THERE

AND OTHERS WHO READ BRIDE OF ALUCARD

WHAT WE HAVE PEOPLE IS A SHORT HONEYMOON STORY

THIS WON'T MAKE SENSE UNLESS YOU HAVE READ BRIDE OF ALUCARD

BUT FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT THE RECEPTION AND THE PERVERTS WHO WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS ON THE HONEYMOON, THIS IS FOR YOU

THANKS GOES OUT TO _SweetYuya_ FOR THE IDEA FOR THE LOCATION

ELLA IS MINE

SARAH BELONGS TO RAVEN06

TAZMIN IS MINE

YUYA IS WANNABE'S AND MINE A LITTLE BIT

WANNABENINJA IS HER OWN PERSON

AND HELLSING BELONGS TO A VERY TALENTED BASTARD WHO ISN'T ME

ENJOY AND REVIEW

**BEGIN:**

* * *

Integra shifted slightly in her chair and looked over at the laughing group.

Alucard was glaring at Anderson,

Anderson was glaring at Alucard and ogling Ella.

Ella was laughing at something Sarah was saying.

Sarah was just being Sarah.

And Pip was whispering something (no doubt perverted) in Seras' ear.

Walter walked over "Quite a picture if I might be as bold to say Sir."

He lit her cigar and she sighed "Who? The vampires or us humans?"

"Why all of the above, a quaint little group, though a strange one."

Integra nodded and wondered slightly just how much power Ella really did wield over Alucard.

No one else would have gotten the feared vampire to propose much less get married by his enemy.

Integra's eyes went to Anderson and she sat back and wondered why he had agreed to this.

Though she was loathe to admit it, she admired his restraint so far,

Neither he nor Alucard had attempted to kill the other yet,

Though the Paladin was rather bruised from getting hit several times throughout the ceremony.

Someone sat next to her and she looked over and nodded stiffly to Tazmin.

Integra wasn't sure how she felt about the prostitute yet, but she was one of Ella's bridesmaids.

Tazmin grinned as though she had read her thoughts "You're not sure about me yet are you?"

Integra ashed "No"

Tazmin nodded and closed her eyes "its okay, I'm not sure about you either"

Integra looked at her again "Why is that?"

Tazmin laughed "No offense intended but you're ... scary, rich, pampered but tough not to mention you have an entire manor of vampires at your disposal"

Integra blew out a stream of smoke "I don't have that many"

Tazmin laughed "Nooo, just Seras, Sarah, Ella and Alucard, now there's D over there" she pointed to a tall man with short brown hair and blue eyes, D had walked Ella down the aisle "D would quite happily fight for you and round up the other vampires at the club also, so I'd say you have a pretty big army"

Integra was mildly impressed "You did your homework"

Tazmin grinned "Nah, Ella just made me remember a bunch of crap"

Integra nodded, there it was again, Ella's influence "What can't that girl manipulate?"

Tazmin gave her a sharp look "She doesn't manipulate anything, she just fills you with such joy and life that you are willing to do anything to please her, some" she nodded at Anderson "Will do anything to have that joy and life a permanent fixture in there own, and others" she looked at Integra "Others mistake that for manipulation"

Integra nodded.

Tazmin sighed and winced when she heard her demon twins break something and scream.

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Ella looked over, swore and ran to the two and picked them both up before they stepped on the glass on the floor.

She looked at them both and tried to examine them to see if they were bleeding, but seeing how they had just broken the punch bowl full of blood, she couldn't tell.

Ella turned and whistled.

Alucard came over "What?"

She raised an eyebrow "Happy" she said in a warning tone.

He glared "How long do we have to wait till we can go have sex?"

Ella kicked him and hissed "The twins."

He looked up at them and glared.

They laughed back.

Ella groaned "Are they bleeding?"

He sighed "Unfortunately no."

She rolled her eyes and thrust the twins at the Geese who were supposed to be looking after them "Clean them up and keep them away from glass"

The Geese nodded and left.

Ella frowned and looked up at Alucard "Red?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do they seem scared of me?"

"Who?"

She nodded at the Wild Geese.

He shrugged "I'm going back to see if I can taunt the Judas Priest into a fight"

She rolled her eyes again and admired his ass as he left.

Tazmin walked over to her "I am so sorry Ella, Jesus my kids just seem to be bad wedding luck, no wonder my cousin said no children at hers."

Ella laughed and hugged her "They say it's the things that go wrong that you remember most, so after you're dead and gone I, looking as young and sexy as I do now, will think back and remember you sincerely."

Tazmin nodded "Just for pointing out you're not going to age and I am, I am leaving the demon twins to you if something happens to me."

Ella laughed "Tell that to Red and I guarantee you'll have five Wild Geese guarding you day and night."

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Alucard smiled at Anderson "So, I get to fuck her tonight, all night long, and then again each and every night."

Anderson gritted his teeth.

"She likes to please me, she does anything I ask her to do, and she plays out all my fantasies."

Anderson gripped his glass so hard it smashed in his hand.

Alucard grinned "And she's so flexible, we're going to work our way through the Karma Sutra book, of course we are already half way through."

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Ella looked over and sighed "Damn it, Mr. Anderson is reaching for a fork and I have a feeling it's not for cake."

Tazmin laughed "At least you made sure neither has weapons."

Ella looked at her "I don't think that stopped either of them from bringing them."

Tazmin looked over at the men "You mean?"

Ella nodded "Yep, wouldn't surprise me if Red has his guns and Mr. Anderson has some blessed blades on him."

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Integra watched the men and wondered how much longer it would be before the blood started to run.

The paladin picked up a fork and held it tightly in his hand.

Alucard smiled and removed his glasses and hat.

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Ella groaned.

Tazmin frowned "What?"

Ella sighed "When Red takes off his hat and glasses it means that he's going to fight."

Tazmin looked around in alarm "What do we do?"

Ella grinned "Don't worry; we have a plan for this."

She let out a high pitched whistle and Sarah looked over and nodded.

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Alucard looked over when Ella whistled and frowned.

Sarah ran up and crash tackled Anderson into the ground "MR. ANDERSON!"

The demon twins appeared from no where and attached themselves to Alucards legs "RED MAN!"

Anderson was trying to push Sarah off.

Alucard was shaking his legs trying to dislodge the pair.

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Ella walked over to the two and yelled "EVERYONE MOVE OVER TO THE OTHERSIDE OF THE ROOM, NOW!"

Everyone moved except for Integra, Tazmin, Ella, Alucard, the twins, Anderson and Sarah.

(Pip and Seras had disappeared long ago.)

Ella looked down at the twins "Let the red man go."

The let him go and she handed them each a lollipop "Now go annoy the bird men" (The name the children had given the Geese.)

She looked at Sarah "Let him up."

Sarah got up and brushed herself off.

Ella handed her a lollipop and Sarah squealed.

The girls walked over and joined Integra at the chairs and waited.

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Alucard pulled out the Jackal and Ella cleared her throat.

He glared at her "Now what?"

She stood up "Red no Jackal, Mr. Anderson no killing him because if you do I will show you that hell and a woman scorned have nothing on me when I'm pissed off, Red no killing Mr. Anderson just maim each other okay."

Alucard sighed "You really know how to take the fun out of things don't you."

She grinned and winked at him "It's a gift."

Alucard went to say something but Anderson stabbed him in the chest with a blessed blade before he had a chance.

Alucard glared and put the Jackal away and took out his Casull instead, he shot Anderson three times in the head.

Anderson flew back and smashed into a table; he laughed and stood back up again.

The bullets in his forehead pushed themselves out and his wounds smoked slightly before closing.

Anderson pulled out two more blades and ran at Alucard.

Alucard pivoted and shot Anderson in the back.

Anderson spun around and jumped towards him.

They slammed together and Alucards blood flew through the air marking the floor and walls.

He shot Anderson in rapid succession before pulling out another clip and reloading.

Anderson threw his arms down and four long spike like objects appeared in each hand

He threw them at Alucard and the floor seemed to move with the force.

The tables in the way broke apart and wood chips flew at Alucards face.

He grinned and shot the wood chips apart.

Anderson slammed into him and stabbed him through the neck.

Ella winced and mumbled "That's gotta hurt."

Sarah nodded.

Alucard just looked pissed off "You put a hole in my new suit."

Anderson glared "An eye for an eye."

Alucard looked over and saw three bullet holes in Anderson's robes.

Anderson swung down with another blade aiming for Alucards throat again.

Alucard rolled to the side, the blade in his neck stayed pinned to the floor so as he moved the blade ripped out his throat.

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Ella sighed "I really liked that suit too."

Alucard shot the blessed blades in Anderson's hands to pieces, the metal flew at Integra's face and Ella squealed and jumped in front of her.

The pieces of blesses blade entered her back and sliced through her body.

She squealed again and jumped up "SHIT THAT HURT!"

Anderson and Alucard both looked over at her then they glared at each other.

Anderson pulled out two more blades and muttered "That is your fault abomination."

Alucard held up his Casull and snapped "It was your fault Judas Priest and I will make you pay for hurting my woman."

Ella sighed "So romantic."

Yuya ran over with a napkin "I couldn't find any towel but will this do?"

Ella smiled at her "Any chance of you having tweezers?"

Yuya smiled back "My master is getting them now."

Ella nodded and sat down carefully so not to push the blade pieces further into her back.

Yuya's master Wannabe came over "I have tweezers, jeeze Ella you sure know how to throw a wedding don't you."

Ella grinned "What can I say I have skill."

Yuya nodded "That's true, after this I'll happily go to any party that you throw cause I know it's going to be good, now let's fix joo up."

Ella grinned at the 'joo' and presented her back to her friends.

Sarah poked a piece of blade and squealed "SON OF A BITCH BURNED ME"

Ella laughed and Wannabe shook her head and pulled out a shard of metal.

Yuya rubbed alcohol over the spot.

Ella smiled and watched her man fight for her.

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Alucard jumped over Andersons head and shot him six times before reloading, all before he even landed.

Anderson flew back and slammed into the wall; he stood up and threw four blades at Alucards body.

Three missed but one sliced open his stomach.

Alucards organs slid slightly out and Ella stared in horrified fascination "There's that damn lava lamp effect again."

Alucards shadows healed the wound and he grinned at Anderson and ran over to him and started shooting out his legs.

Anderson had the same idea and sliced one of Alucards legs off.

Anderson laughed.

Alucard looked down at his severed leg and shrugged "Flesh wound."

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Ella groaned and rolled her eyes at that.

Yuya snorted "That was lame."

Sarah nodded "Really lame."

Wannabe pulled out another shard "Super lame."

Integra sighed "Ella wherever the hell you find your friends, do me a favor and leave them there."

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Anderson bared his teeth "Then you wouldn't mind another 'flesh wound' then."

He sliced Alucards left arm off at the shoulder and it fell to the floor with a sickening _splat._

Alucard looked at it "I was bored with that arm anyway."

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Ella groaned again.

Wannabe frowned "Where the hell does he get this shit?"

Sarah laughed.

Yuya frowned thoughtfully "I thinks it's funny in a lame sort of way."

Wannabe sighed "Minion get back to helping Ella."

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_SPLAT_

Alucards other arm fell to the floor and he smiled.

Anderson was panting slightly "Evil abominations should be wiped from this earth."

Alucard laughed "Be careful Judas Priest this room is filled with abominations remember."

Anderson looked around and finally seemed to realize how many vampires were in the room.

He picked up his blades and focused on Yuya and Wannabe.

Alucard called his shadows to him and regenerated his body parts.

Anderson took a step towards Yuya and Wannabe with death in his eyes.

Alucard stood behind him and shot him in the head at point blank range "Ella's rules are that no one can kill her guests tonight, and no one can kill her friends ever, if she ever changes that rule I get first choice."

Anderson fell to the floor and blood trickled from the hole in the back of his head.

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Ella frowned and looked over "Is he dead?"

Alucard bent down then looked up at her with sorrow in his eyes.

Ella sighed in relief "Thank god."

Yuya frowned and rubbed alcohol on another spot "He didn't answer you though?"

Ella grinned at her "The sorrow in his eyes tells me that Anderson is still living."

Wannabe glared at Andersons form "If he was going to do what I think he was going to do, then he won't be for long."

Ella frowned "Hey you're right; he was going to stab you and my sweet Yuya."

Wannabe glared and poked a bit of blade into Ella's skin "How come Yuya is sweet and I'm not?"

Ella glared back "OW! Remember who you're talking to love, I know you and Wannabe and sweet don't go together unless you involve Yuya."

Sarah nodded "It's true you are evil."

Wannabe nodded "True."

Yuya frowned "The big priest man is getting up."

Ella stood up and walked over to Anderson, she placed a foot on his back and pushed him back into the ground "For thinking about killing my friends you mister are going to time out."

Alucard grinned.

Ella bent down and looked at Anderson "You see that chair at the back of the room?"

Anderson nodded.

Ella smiled "That's the naughty stool; you have to stay on that naughty stool for two hours."

Anderson glared "I am no child to be sent to time out."

Ella grabbed Alucards Casull and shot Anderson in the head once "Tonight is my wedding night and that means not only do I get hot sex but I also make the rules, you naughty stool now."

Anderson glared and got up, he walked over and sat down on the chair "I wanted to sit down, I'm not obeying you."

Ella raised an eyebrow "Really?"

Anderson just sent her a death glare.

Ella smiled and looked around "Well come on people, is this a reception or a funeral?"

Alucard mumbled "It's the end of my peaceful life."

Ella turned and shot him in the head "I heard that."

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They stood together and cut the cake, Ella was slightly pissed off that she couldn't eat it, but since she had macca's not even a week ago it was to soon for her to risk eating human food again.

She pouted slightly then smiled; if she couldn't eat her wedding cake then she may as well have fun with it.

She lent up and kissed Alucard, she grabbed his hair and pulled back and smiled at him

She slammed his face into the cake and smiled again.

She felt much better now.

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Seras and Pip returned and looked around in surprise.

There was blood on the walls and over the floor.

Anderson was sitting by himself at the back of the room and Alucards face was covered in cake.

Seras muttered "I think we missed something big."

Pip looked at her and lit a smoke "Once again ma petite you point out the obvious."

Seras flicked him in the stomach and he flew back and slammed into the wall.

She felt much better.

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Alucard slid his hands up her thigh and ran his nails down her leg.

She hissed out a breath and glared at him.

He grinned back and moved his hand slowly up her thigh again.

She tensed and he moved his hand around her inner thigh.

He moved his hand slowly down again.

Ella glared and kicked him in the balls.

His eyes widened in shock and he gasped "Ow."

She smiled.

He recovered quickly and moved his hand back up her thigh.

He grabbed her garter and slowly moved it down her leg.

Once he had it in his hands he tossed it over his shoulder and heard Pip cheer.

They looked over and smiled Pip had caught her garter and was grinning "Seras ma petite, I do not need you tonight."

Ella laughed as Seras flicked him into a wall again.

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Ella grabbed a random bunch of flowers and stood with her back to the crowd "One... Two... Three"

She tossed the flowers over her shoulder and turned.

Yuya was scratching at people trying to catch the bouquet.

Sarah was jumping on people's shoulders.

Seras turned and punched out the woman next to her.

Yuya, Sarah and Seras all caught the flowers.

They glared at each other and Yuya kicked Sarah in the knee.

Sarah squealed and let go.

Seras ducked as Yuya tried to punch her.

Seras bent her head and bit Yuya on the wrist.

Yuya squealed and let go of the flowers.

Seras held them up and jumped up and down.

The Geese were all watching her boobs bounce with fascination.

Ella didn't have to be a mind reader to know they were all hoping her boobs would pop out again.

Thankfully (from Ella's point of view) that didn't happen.

Pip did however look slightly alarmed by the fact that he caught the garter and Seras had the flowers.

Ella made a mental note to fuck with his mind after the honeymoon by talking about the awesome power of the wedding flowers and garter.

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Alucard stood behind Ella and glared "Can we go fuck now?"

Ella snorted "Always so romantic Red"

He sighed "Can we go have sex now?"

She turned and wrapped her arms around him "That's better, I'll see what Sarah says"

He glared "What does she have to do with us having sex?"

Ella rolled her eyes "Remember she booked our honeymoon destination"

Alucard looked horrified "Please tell me that's another sick joke of yours?"

She shook her head.

Alucard thought of all the places that Sarah could have booked them into, his first thought was a cheap motel next to an airport.

His second was of one in Iraq.

He then had a mental image of him and Ella arriving at an old folk's retirement home.

Ella watched in fascination at all the expressions on Reds face.

He looked alarmed then horrified then completely scared.

She wondered what he was thinking of and decided that she was happier not to know.

She turned and went in search of Sarah.

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Sarah was standing in a group with Integra, Seras, Pip, Walter, Yuya and Wannabe

Ella gestured Alucard over.

Sarah smiled at them both "I guess you're both eager to leave and fuck like rabbits?"

Integra spat out her port and snapped "Do you have to be so crude."

Sarah blinked then turned back to Ella "Well you can leave anytime from now on."

Ella smiled "So?"

Sarah blinked again "What?"

Ella frowned "I would like to know where we are going."

Sarah nodded "Makes sense, you can hardly leave if you don't know where you're going."

They stood in silence for another minute.

Alucard gritted his teeth "TELL US."

Sarah blinked "No need to get pissy."

Alucard growled.

Sarah sighed and pulled out a piece of paper with an address on it "Here you go; you're staying for a week in their most famous room."

They looked down at the piece of paper and Alucard picked Ella up and threw her over his shoulder.

He turned and walked out through the wall.

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The others looked at Sarah.

Sarah just smiled blankly.

Yuya sighed "Come on; tell us where you booked them."

Sarah blinked "Oh okay."

_FIVE MINUTES LATER_

"DAMN IT SARAH TELL US" Integra snapped.

Sarah glared "No need to get pissy."

Yuya looked like she was about to rip Sarah's hair out.

Sarah smiled "They get to spend a relaxing week at the world famous."

They others leaned in "Yes."

"The world famous."

"Yes."

"The world famous."

"SARAH JUST TELL US."

Sarah pouted "Fine, they get to spend a week at the world famous Killham Castle."

Integra frowned "That sounds very familiar."

Sarah nodded "It should like I said it's famous."

Pip blinked "Famous for what?"

Yuya started laughing "Is that the...? Are you saying that they are spending their honeymoon at?"

Yuya was laughing to hard to finish.

Seras frowned "Isn't that?"

Sarah nodded "Yep, Killham Castle world famous for being the most haunted castle in the world."

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**AN**

_First off I want to say I had to re-vamp this._

_I wish to say a sincere thank you to DevilWearsJeans._

_I was an absolute bitch to her, I know now that she was right about me review whoring (though that won't change lol)_

_And about my grammar, it is horrible._

_But being the childish person I was, I sent a review back to her saying horrible things._

_I have apologized to her via PM, but I would like to do it publicly (so to speak)_

_So DevilWearsJeans I am so sorry for the way I acted. I know now you were just trying to help, so thank you for that._

_Even though I know you won't read this lol._

_I wish you the best._

_Anon reviews welcome_

_All the best  
Angil_


	2. Non chappie, AN

Ladies and Gentlemen of the FF world,

Ladies and Gentlemen of the FF world,

Well those who read my story anyways.

I have some good news and some bad news,

Good news: My sister gave birth to a little girl and my Nana's surgery went well.

Bad news:

Sadly I don't know when the next chapter will be out, between my sis having a baby 8 weeks early and my Nan just out of hospital after they removed her breast cause of cancer, my writing has taken a back seat cause I'm between them a _LOT_, so I have had hardly any resting time, but never fear, I have written my ideas down and soon will be typing them up for the world to love or hate once again.

I'm really sorry that my writing isn't coming out as fast as it once was, but such is life and family _ALWAYS_ takes the top priority with me. –Shrugs- its how I am.

I hope once again that soon we shall be reunited within the world of humor, parodies, romance, insanity and good wholesome dirty, dirty minds.

Love to everyone.

Also I had to post this as a chappie because my comp won't let me make up my profile. It always reports an error and shuts down, sorry again.

All the best

-Yuya's perverted partner in crime-

-WannaBe's stalker fangirl-

-DFG's stalking groupie fan-

-Romanticallykid's glomping friend-

Mercenary of the Twisted Triad, Angil, the Mentally Insane One.


	3. Honeymoon Part 1

Thanks goes out to _SweetYuya  
WannaBeNinja  
Dark-Flame-Girl  
Castlevania  
Arathi.x  
Raven06  
Watergoddesskasey  
twinkers4  
s1lv3rw0lf  
Velvetnight-OF DOOM_

**AN: I changed the destination of the honeymoon from Chillingham Castle to Killham Castle (I made it up.) Because I had an idea and it just rolled out so Chillingham castle didn't actually fit in.**

**Also sorry it took so long and sorry to those expecting this to be spazzness all round cause it's a bit serious and Lemony.  
But never fear my 2 chapter story has turned into 3 chapters, not including AN chapter. So next chapter should be more spazzness all round.**

**All the best,  
Please Review if it's good.  
**

_**BEGIN:**_

* * *

_Day 5:_

_Ella stood with her back pressed against the wall, she turned and glanced at the man next to her "This isn't good."_

_Alucard sent her an astonished look "Tell me Ella, at what point did you figure that out? Was it before or after the flesh eating ghouls and demonic dogs began attacking?"_

_She said nothing then looked back at him, he let out a sigh of frustration "No, I don't expect you to answer that. It was a sarcastically put rhetorical question."_

_She opened her mouth, he covered it with his hand "That means shut up and let me deal with this mess you've caused."_

_She looked around and watched the chaos and terror of those in the room with them, an elderly couple sat huddled in the corner speaking softly, another honeymooning couple held each other and wept, all around the room people prayed for an angel, a miracle, help from God. Ella looked up at her husband and smiled, these people didn't know it yet, but their prayers had been answered by a 6 foot something vampire who was more likely to be friends with the devil then an angel from God.  
She stood in front of him on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips, "Go be a hero."_

_He looked down into her eyes and gently cupped her chin; he lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered "This is your fault."_

_Then he was gone._

_Ella glared at the wall he had just disappeared into and let out an curse._

_She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest; leaning against the wall she looked around the room once more before cursing again and admitting that he was right._

_It was her fault, the whole thing was completely her fault, she now needed a way to blame someone else for this or she'd never live it down._

_After all, how many women can truly say they unleashed a centuries old evil curse on their honeymoon?_

* * *

_Day 1:_Alucard looked around the huge gatehouse keep of the castle Sarah had booked them into for a weeks honeymoon. The keep consisted of two great D-shaped towers over 24 meters high. It was both a defensive and domestic structure, dominating the surrounding landscape. It had four main floors, with another two levels at the curved front. The two turrets he could see were also two floors high.

The front door was opened by an annoyingly perky woman with short cropped blonde hair and sparkling green eyes, she tilted her head slightly and smiled brightly "You must be Mr. and Mrs. Anderson. Welcome to Killham Castle."

Alucard let out a growl at being addressed as _Mr. Anderson_.

The woman took an involuntary step back.

Ella let out a laugh "Never mind him, it annoys him my friend Sarah didn't know his last name so she was forced to make the booking using mine." She shook hands with the woman, before grinning and adding, "But it might be safer for all if you didn't address him at all."

The woman looked as though she was trying to decide whether or not Ella was joking, when she realized she wasn't, the woman swallowed and took another step back.

Ella let out a resigned sigh "This is why you don't have friends, love."

Alucard sent her a look, letting her know he wasn't amused. She laughed once more before stepping inside and letting out a low, soft whistle, "Nice place."

In Alucard's mind, nice place was an understatement. It had stone walls and a white marble floor, there were richly made tapestries adorning the walls, and next to them were an assortment of shields, weapons and plaques letting the people know the history of each displayed piece. A large fireplace was surrounded by leather chairs and a portrait of a 18th century man holding a sword looked down upon the room.

Seeing where his gaze had rested upon, the annoy woman, Debbie she said her name was, informed him that it was a picture of Lord Killham, one of the many ghosts haunting the castle, she said he had perished in a hunting accident with friends, but rumor had it foul play was involved.

"Ooooooooo-eeeeeeeeee-ooooooooooo."

"What are you doing Ella?"

"Oooooooooo...Making atmosphere. Eeeeeeeeeeeeee-Oooooooo."

"Stop it."

"Ooooo- ok."

Debbie blinked and took another step away from them, she cleared her throat "If you'd like, you two are just in time to join the ghost tour of the castle."

Ella smiled politely at her "That does sound good, but we're tired so we might hit the hay."

Alucard wondered how many more steps the woman would take away from them before she was shouting; he wondered if they could do just that. Ella, picking up the thoughts from his head, immediately agreed to try it.

He smiled at Debbie "She means we wish to have sex."

One step back from Debbie.

Ella looked at him and frowned, "You mean lots."

Alucard frowned back "What?"

Ella looked back at Debbie "We wish to have lots of sex."

Another step back.

Alucard was mentally grinning "Not just any sex."

A tiny step back.

Ella agreed "Hot, wild, animalistic sex."

A larger step back.

Alucard looked over at Debbie "Are your towel racks strongly imbedded in the walls, last time she had to get stitches when  
it snapped off."

Another step back "Yes," she squeaked. "They're in there fine."

Ella nodded seriously "Good, what about the shower door? Is it stable? Cause I remember when this one went through ours and let me tell you sex and glass may sound fun; but really it hurts."

Two steps back.

'Time to bring it home.' Alucard thought. "I wonder if married sex is different to other sex?"

Ella frowned "I'm not sure." She turned to Debbie "Would you like to help us find out?"

Debbie turned and ran off.

Alucard grinned. Ella looked at him "I guess that's a no."

As they walked over to the lift; Alucard looked at Ella "Tell me more about this shower and glass sex."

* * *

Ella gasped and arched her back; she placed her hands on Alucard's chest and rode him hard. Sweat dripped down her breasts, he attempted to roll her on her back, she growled and pushed him back onto the bed. He bit deeply into one of her wrists and drank the blood that ran into his mouth. Ella pulled her wrist from his mouth and bit deeply into her other wrist, blood ran down both arms and dripped onto his chest, she placed both palms on his shoulders and rocked back and forth, she lifted her hands and rubbed them together. She stood up and crouched down near his erection; she slicked her hands with her blood and pumped them up and down his throbbing shaft. His breath hissed out and his back arched.

He muttered something in another language before grabbing her by her hair and ripping her up to him. He kissed her viciously drawing blood from her lips; his tongue darted out and licked the crimson drops. He pushed her onto her back held her wrists tightly in his hands; he entered her in one violent stroke. She arched up and let out a deep moan. He thrust into her before pulling out almost all the way. She growled at the loss. He thrust back inside her; she clawed her fingers and pulled hard on her hands, trying to free them from his grasp. He held on and bent down to lick the blood that had fallen from her elbows to her breasts. She wrapped her legs around his waist and tightened her inner muscles around him, they both groaned at the new sensation. She raised her hips higher and grinded herself against him, begging for more.

He moved one of her wrists into the other hand, so it now held both, and with his free hand he grabbed wrapped her hair around his palm and pulled her head back, exposing her throat. His thrusts came faster and harder as he bent low and bit down into her soft neck. She gasped and shuddered before finding release. His licked her neck wound so it closed before turning her onto her back riding her harder and faster. Ella once more felt the pleasure building up. Alucard's instinct kicked in and he sunk his teeth into her shoulder, resting all his weight on her back, he pinned her to the bed and pulled almost all the way out before slamming back into her. They both came together.

Alucard collapsed onto her back and rested his head on her shoulder, the bite mark started to heal. He rolled over, taking her with him. He looked down at her and cursed "You should have closed those earlier."  
Ella frowned and looked down at her wrists, she snuggled closer to him and slowly lifted one up to him mouth, he licked the wound, then the other and watched them close. Looking down at his new bride he was satisfied to see she was worn out and sleeping. 'Just the way I like her' he thought, before succumbing to his own exhaustion.

* * *

_Day 2:_

Ella woke up and yawned, she looked at the clock and frowned, it was 3:30am. She wondered what had woken her up; when she heard it, a small feminine voice whispered "Help me."

Ella sat up and looked around in alarm.

"Please, help me."

She nudged Alucard "RED! Wake up."

He glared at her "What?"

"Did you hear that?"

"What?"

"Someone saying help me."

"Go to sleep."

She frowned and looked around once more before laying back down

"Help me."

She pushed his shoulder "Red, there it was again, listen."

"Help me."

He turned and glared at her "Ella, stop it, now isn't the time for jokes. Now lie down and go to sleep or else we're going home!"

She blinked and lay back down. Resting her head on his shoulder, she wondered what or who the hell was asking for help.

* * *

"Caroline Hortone."

Ella blinked "Caroline Hortone?"

The elderly man nodded "Many honeymooning couples hear her calls for help, sadly there isn't a thing you can do for her."

"What happened to her?"

"She was walled up her husband, one of the old Lords of Killham Castle, he suspected her of being unfaithful so he claimed if she was truly innocent of sin God'd let her out, but alas, she was trapped in that wall and there she died."

Ella looked horrified. Alucard grinned evilly at her "If I ever suspected you of cheating I'd hole you up in a wall and let you rot there."

Ella snorted "If you thought I was cheating on you, you'd kill me with your bare hands."

He nodded "True."

The old man sat back "I get the feeling neither one of you is joking."

Ella smiled at him "We're not."

He nodded "Thing was, Caroline was innocent. T'was the husband who was having the affair."

Ella looked at Alucard "If I ever suspected you were cheating on me, I'd shove the thickest rose branch I could find up your arse and rip it out again."

Alucard and the old man both blinked, Alucard nodded "Noted."

"So what other ghosts can we expect to meet here? By the way, I'm Ella and this is Alucard."

The man nodded and lit his pipe "Pleasure, name is James, James Jones."

Ella blinked "James...Jones?"

"Folks call me JJ, t'would be an honor if you two were to do the same."

"K. So JJ, what other spooks are we likely to meet?"

"You two? Well you, young Ella, you look an awful lot like Miss Charlotte."

She sat forward "Who's Miss Charlotte?"

"She was a witch."

Alucard mumbled "That's Ella alright."

Ella smacked him in the stomach "What'd she do?"

"She cursed the village, the families and all who should ever visit."

"Why?"

"She was betrothed to the Lord's son, but he ended the engagement when he fell in love with a sweet young woman from London. Miss Charlotte didn't take to kindly to being tossed aside, specially when rumor had it Lord Killham had bedded her and his son found out, thus ending the engagement. Miss Charlotte was ruined. Charlotte the harlot they called her. Shame really."

"How? I mean besides her being ruined."

"Because the woman the Lord's son ended up marrying was none other then Caroline Hortone."

"Jesus."

JJ nodded "Like I said a real shame."

Alucard rose an eyebrow "So the Lord's son locked Caroline Hortone up in a wall, the woman he married, and he also locked Miss Charlotte, the woman he was originally _going_ to marry, up in a wall. That man must have enjoyed walling women up in his castle."

JJ grinned showing his two remaining teeth "Aye, tis true he had a thing with walling up the lasses, but that wasn't all he had a thing for."

Ella leaned forward once more "Do tell."

"Well, as the legend goes. Killham, it's easier to call the lad Killham, he brought home Caroline and wed her. Miss Charlotte was burning with rage and envy over the new lady of the castle. Killham went away for a time, no one knows exactly where it was he went, but when he came back he was a different man, an evil man."

Ella's eyes widened "Evil?" Even Alucard was beginning to be intrigued by this tale.

"Aye evil. Miss Charlotte had a young sister, but since Charlotte was ruined she could no longer find work, it was up to her sister Emily to get the money for the family, a hard task to ask of a 8 year old girl. But Miss Emily went out and got a job as a scullery maid at the castle, she'd come back home every night with tales of Caroline's generosity and warmth, telling all she could how wonderful the new Lady was. Charlotte got more and more bitter. Then Caroline asked the young girl to be her personal maid. Emily was overjoyed; she couldn't wait to tell the family. At first it started out well enough, she'd skip home every night with tales of grand balls and glittering gowns, she'd run to work every morning full of light and joy. Then Killham returned."

Alucard frowned "How do you know all this?"

JJ cackled "Miss Charlotte kept a diary on it all. You think an old fool like me would make up tales to amuse you? Never, the only reason I'm telling you this is I have a liking for yer wife, she's a pretty young thing who reminds me of me own wife when we first met."

Ella grinned "Thank you JJ."

He winked at her "If ya ever want to leave this bruiser, I'd welcome you with open arms."

She laughed. Alucard sighed "What happened next old man?"

His smile fell "About a week after Killham's return, young Emily changed."

Ella frowned "How?"

"She was quieter, she no longer went home and spoke about what happened at the castle, she no longer ran to work, she seemed to leave as though she was off to meet with the devil, and in a way she was. A month had passed in which Charlotte watched her sister turn from a happy, bubbly little girl into a somber, shy shadow of herself. Charlotte wrote she was going to go see what was going on at the castle. Two days later she disappeared. But we know where she ended up."

"The castle wall." Ella whispered.

JJ nodded. Alucard sat back in his chair "Do you know what happened in between then?"

"Oh aye, you see Miss Charlotte kept her diary with her, even in the wall. 60 odd years ago the castle needed some work, I found the diary, the others found Caroline Hortone."

"What about Miss Charlotte?"

"Tis a mystery alright, her body has yet to be found."

"What did the diary say?"

"Are ye sure ye wish to know?"

Ella frowned "Your accent is becoming more pronounced. Why?"

JJ grinned "When I tend to get upset or passionate about a subject it comes out."

She nodded, "I want to know. Red?" He nodded.

JJ sighed "Aye, well if ye both come back here on the morrow, I'll have the diary then, ye can read it yerselves. Tis something ye need to see with yer own eyes."

Ella screwed up her nose then sighed "Alright."

Alucard stood up, "We'll be off then, until tomorrow old man."

JJ nodded "One more thing lass." Ella looked back at him. "Don't ye go anywhere near the dungeon. Ye hear me, keep away from the dungeon."

She nodded.

* * *

_Day 3:_

Ella groaned and looked at the clock; she let out a curse when she saw it was 3:30am "Help me."

She lay back down and closed her eyes.

"Help me."

She grabbed a pillow and shoved it over her head.

"Please, help me."

She sighed "I'm not listening."

"Ella, Help me Ella."

"I'm not liste... Did you just say my name?"

"Ella, Ella, I'm in the dungeon. Help me Ella."

"Ooh...Kay...Then."

"Ella, help me."

"_RED!_"

Alucard rolled over and looked at her "What?"

"Listen." She hissed.

"Ella, help me Ella. Save me Ella. The dungeon."

He blinked "Ooh...Kay."

Ella looked around, "How does it know my name?"

He glared "Have you been talking to it?"

"Yes, we had a great conversation about the different types of pies and how we're both big fans of Family Guy." She muttered sarcastically.

He raised an eyebrow "Did you?"

"_No I didn't talk to it!_" She snapped.

"Ella help me, help."

She groaned and rolled onto her back "Make it stop, Red."

He ran a finger around her nipple and grinned when she raised an eyebrow at him. His hand slid low and he ran his fingers teasingly around her, his grin widened when he felt her begin to respond. Her eyes closed and she let out a sound of contentment. He slid a finger inside her and slowly drew it out. When she was ready he rolled on top of her and wrapped her legs around his waist. He slid into her, making them both forget about the ghostly voice calling out to her.

* * *

Ella lit up a smoke.

JJ looked at her "Those things'll kill ye lass."

She and Alucard exchanged a look.

JJ picked up on it but refrained from comment.

Alucard looked over "Did you bring the diary old man?"

"Aye, here ye go."

Ella looked down at the book and was amazed by the condition it was in.

JJ nodded "Aye, tis a mystery to me too, looks the same as the day I found it. Not even a hint of aging."

"This morning something strange happened." She told him about the voice and how it knew her name and wanted her to go to the dungeon.

JJ frowned "Ye didn't go did ye?"

She shook her head.

He let out a sigh of relief "Good, I dinna know what the ghosty wants with ye lass, but it won't be just a friendly chat, that I guarantee ye."

Ella crushed out the smoke and reached for the diary, she looked at him.

JJ nodded "I was hoping ye would read it aloud lass." She opened it up. JJ nodded to a ribbon "That's the page ye be after."

She flipped to it and cleared her throat. "Emily came home again tonight, her spirit seems to be leaving her, I have done a protection spell on her, yet I fear I may be too late. I had a vision the other night, the devil had my sister in his grasp and he stole her soul to hell, I fear it may be an omen for the future. I believe I will look towards another village for us to live, if this continues longer then it should I fear for my sisters life and soul."

JJ nodded "Next page."

"Emily came home late tonight, I went to confront her about what was wrong, I discovered her outside weeping softly, she was limping slightly but when I asked about it she fobbed me off with an excuse about twisting her ankle walking home."  
Ella frowned but continued "I have made a shocking discovery today, I am outraged beyond belief. Whilst doing the laundry I lifted up one of Emily's dresses, it had blood on the back of it, blood from her waist area. I fear the worst for my sister, but it explains so much, the limping, the mood change, the fear I see in her eyes when Killham is mentioned. I will confront Emily tonight about it."

Ella growled "Bastard!"

JJ frowned and studied her.

She turned the page "I sit here and weep for my sisters lost childhood and her lost innocence. It is true; Lord Killham has been doing things to her body, unnatural things, things that only a man and wife should do together. I want to kill him, but instead I will make him suffer, I will make him pay. I need only a few more ingredients and my potion will be ready. It won't be much longer before Emily and I leave this place forever."

JJ sighed softly "She didn't realize how right she was."

Ella frowned and turned the page "It skips about a week." JJ nodded. Ella read on "Alas, my heart has been ripped from my chest. I write these words in the devil's lair, he has done the unthinkable. But it is I who shall have the last laugh. The night Emily told me all she confessed she had left a note for Lady Killham, explaining what her husband had done. I told her to go and retrieve the note, that Lady Killham wouldn't listen, that she wouldn't believe. Emily refused; she had hope in the lady. The next morning I begged her to stay with me, she wouldn't listen, and she insisted that Lady Killham would do the right thing. That night I lay in wait, but Emily never came home. My potion was nearly complete; it just needed a piece of the lord's hair. I bottled it and placed it in my pocket before walking to the devil's lair. Once there I demanded my sister.  
Lord Killham heard me and took me into the Library, I knew it wasn't proper, but my fear for Emily overrode my sense of propriety. I demanded to know what he had done with my sister, he denied knowing, but I could see it in his eyes, he had her."

She turned the page "I made the mistake of telling him I knew about the unnatural things he had been doing to children, I demanded he give me my sister or else I would tell the villagers. He changed before my eyes, it is hard to describe, he didn't physically change appearance, he instead seemed to change souls. A cold demon now stood before me. It told me my sister was dead, that it had feasted upon her youth, her body, and her soul. That her corpse was tossed in the woods for the animals to feed upon. I went mad with grief and attacked him. He backhanded me and I fell to the floor. He placed his hands around my throat and tightened his grip, I couldn't breath. I reached up and grabbed his hair; I managed to pull some out. I used the last of my strength, thinking about my sister, and grabbed the potion, I placed the hair inside, his hands lessened their grip. I believe the demon wished to see what I was doing. The potion was complete; I poured it over him and muttered the spell. He seemed shocked, demanded to know what I had done. I told him I had cursed him, his seed, his lands and anyone else who would inherit or enjoy these lands. They were all cursed, my sister had loved this land and in her death she could not enjoy, so I made sure no one would. He didn't believe me and threw me in the dungeon. Down there I saw children, they were beaten and told tales of the Lords unspeakable acts upon their bodies, there were woman and men, beaten within an inch of death then left to heal so they could be beaten once more. I would hear screams of pain and anguish all night long."

Ella looked up and felt a tear roll down her cheek. JJ handed her a hanky, she wiped her eyes and looked down. The hanky had blood on it. Ella's eyes widened as she realized JJ had just seen her cry tears of blood. She looked at him in shock. JJ chuckled "I had a feeling the two of ye weren't human. I'm guessing ye be vampire."

Ella's mouth dropped open, he laughed "Ye live as long as I have lass, ye see a few things. Besides, I've met with yer husband 80 or so years ago, he looks the same."

Alucard laughed "I remember now old man, how is the village of Irust going?"

JJ shrugged "I left after the second ghoul attack."

Alucard grinned "Was it really 80 years ago?"

"Aye, I'm guessing time doesn't exactly fly when yer dead?"

"Not really."

He huffed "Lucky bastard."

Ella laughed and shook her head; she looked back down at the diary "Two pages left."

JJ nodded "Go ahead."

"That night Killham came down to me, he did things to my body, terrible things, I knew now why dear, sweet Emily had lost herself. The things left a person feeling unclean and soiled; I despaired; the thought of my beautiful sister suffering because of me, because I couldn't provide for us both she was led like a rooster to the chopping block. I lay in my cell the next day, I was in agony, bruises covered my body and a dark stain spread slowly across my soul. I knew what I had to do; I knew that I would be damning my soul to hell and the devil. But I didn't care; I was doing this for Emily. The next night he came for me again, while he did things to my body I acted. I sunk my teeth deep in his shoulder and drunk of his blood, he hit me; drawing my own and left. I used my blood to write a curse upon the wall and myself. That night he came to me again, this time I was different. I was as evil as he. Every wound he inflicted on me healed immediately, I attacked him with a newfound strength. I wounded him badly, he tricked me though. Just when I thought I had him, he lunged and stabbed me with something, the object pierced my skin and burned like fire, the wound refused to heal. He stabbed one through each of my legs and arms, and then he left the room and locked the door behind him. I heard him working the next day. I didn't know what he was doing, and then he told me. He was walling me in. I howled and fought but the objects pinning me down stayed put. I am writing this as a week after because all that has happened came to be in a week. I am not sure how long I stayed pinned to the floor before I freed one of my wrists. I am not even sure why I am writing in this. Perhaps it keeps me sane? I do not know. But I heard something else while I lay there in agony, another woman being walled up. Lady Killham. At least I know my curse upon the land worked. Now I can finally sleep, for I am tired, so very tired. I shall think of you, my dear sweet Emily."

Ella blinked "That's it."

JJ nodded "I don't know what happened after that."

Alucard frowned and stood up; he looked out on the land then back at Ella and JJ.

Ella looked back at him and nodded slowly "You're thinking the same thing."

JJ frowned and looked back and forth between the two "What are ye thinking?"

They ignored him for the moment.

Ella sat back and lit up a smoke, "It does make sense when you think about it."

He nodded "The burning, piercing object."

They both muttered "Silver."

Ella blew out a stream of smoke "The healing wounds."

Alucard nodded "The taking of the blood for the ritual."

JJ looked back and forth between them in alarm "Are ye both suggesting what I think yer suggesting?"

Ella frowned "The surviving over a week without food or drink."

Alucard looked over at JJ "And no body being found."

JJ paled "Yer really suggesting it aren't ye?"

Alucard nodded "I," Ella cleared her throat. He continued "_We_ believe Miss Charlotte may be a vampire."


	4. Honeymoon Part 2

Thanks to

Thanks to  
WannaBeNinja  
Watergoddesskasey  
mrs. macabre  
castlevania  
SweetYuya  


**BEGIN:**

_Day 3:_

_JJ paled "Yer really suggesting it aren't ye?"_

Alucard nodded "I," Ella cleared her throat. He continued "We believe Miss Charlotte may be a vampire."

JJ looked down at his gnarled hands and whispered "Mother of God, it makes sense."

Ella bent down next to him "What does JJ?"

"The disappearances in the castle. They make sense now."

Alucard frowned "There have been disappearances?"

"Aye, I always knew the castle was involved in some way, but no one would listen, after all, I'm naught but a foolish old coot."

Ella nodded "True, but you're still right."

JJ cackled "I like you lass, dead or no; you're alright. Do ye mind me asking how ye died?"

Ella shrugged "I was crucified."

JJ stared "Jesus, yer that old?!"

Ella's face went blank.

Alucard started to laugh.

JJ frowned "What is it?"

Ella glared at both him and Alucard.

JJ scratched his head "I was simply complementing the lass; she doesn't look over a thousand years old."

Ella leaned close to him and whispered "I don't like you anymore."

JJ blinked and looked over to Alucard.

Alucard was laughing harder.

JJ sat back in his chair, understanding lit his features "How old are ye lass?"

"Nowhere near a thousand."

"But ye were crucified?"

"A couple of months ago."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh."

JJ cleared his throat and looked away from her; she saw his lips twitch and sighed "Go ahead, have a good laugh. Lord knows my _loving_ husband is."

JJ started to cackle with laughter.

Ella sighed "Men."

--

After both the men had finished laughing and making 'Grandma' jokes, they settled down to business. JJ started with the most recent disappearance "A few weeks ago a young woman came here on holiday, she liked to go by herself to take pictures of the area and the castle, after a few days she seemed to be very interested in the dungeon. She spent many an hour simply taking pictures o the place. Then one day she didna leave."

Alucard frowned "What about her camera?"

"Oh aye, that were found in the dungeon. Nothing else was ever recovered. The castle covered it up though, claimed she had planned to go on a drive that day, maybe she never returned. I say the castle got her, or vampire."

Ella rested her chin on her hand "Any chance we could see the photo's on the camera?"

JJ grinned "Yer in luck there lass, me boy is the chief of police."

"In that case he won't be shocked when two vampires demand the photo's from a dead woman's camera."

JJ winked at her "Not at all."

--

James junior (Ella had laughed at another JJ in the family) looked at Ella and Alucard, then back to his father. He let out a long sigh "Da, why don't you go get a drink, this'll just be a minute."

JJ snorted "And let ye try to intimidate them? Not without me ye aren't."

James sighed again and turned to them "Alright, I was hoping Da wouldn't be here for this, but" he shrugged. "You two should be ashamed of yourselves." Ella and Alucard exchanged confused looks. James continued "Playing off an old man's belief simply because you want to see some photos! That has to be one of the lowest things I have ever seen!"

Ella raised an eyebrow "And what if we are vampires?"

"If you're vampires I want proof."

"And if we can prove it?"

"Then you can have the photo's no questions asked."

Ella laughed "This is going to be fun. What do you want to see?"

"Turn into a bat, mist, fly even."

Ella grimaced "I'm new to this vampire business so that's a little advanced for me."

James rolled his eyes "Of course it is."

Ella frowned then snapped her fingers "I know." She walked over to the wall and laid her hands on it, she turned her head and looked at him "Solid wall, here are my hands resting on it. Now you see them." She focused her attention and built up her shadows. Her hands passed through the wall "Now you don't."

James sputtered and ran over to her, he bent down and looked at her arms from below, he stood up and reached out for her arm.

Alucard appeared on her other side. James jumped back in shock; Alucard shook his head slowly "Don't touch what's mine."

Ella rolled her eyes and pulled her arms out of the wall, the shadows left and she frowned and looked at Alucard "You really have to teach me how to do that to the rest of my body."

He shrugged "It amuses me to watch you run into walls and struggle with it."

"You're not a very caring or sensitive man, are you?"

"Yet you married me anyway."

"Yes, well I'm insane."

"If you're expecting a denial from me, you have a long wait ahead of you."

JJ cackled "I love this lass, ye ever get sick of her Alucard, ye drop her onto my lap, and I'll take good care of her."

Alucard looked at Ella, then back to JJ "How's your next Tuesday?"

Ella ignored them both and looked over to James "Our photo's please."

James looked up "But ... How?"

Ella smiled "No questions remember."

He nodded "Alright, come with me, we'll go to the station. You can bring them back here, but other then that they can't leave my house or the station."

They all nodded in agreement.

--

James placed the photo's down on his table and frowned slightly "Do either of you want something to eat or drink."

Ella and Alucard both grinned up at him. He paled and backed away.

JJ cackled and slapped his leg "That's me boy, always willing to go the extra mile."

Alucard closed his eyes "Mmm, O Negative. If you are offering."

James backed into the wall "I ... I ...Ju...just r...rem...remem...remembered th...tha...that I...I've ... re...recently eaten... g...gar...garlic."

Ella frowned and looked at JJ "I didn't know your son stuttered."

JJ grinned "He doesn't."

Ella laughed and winked at James "Don't worry; we had a ... bite to eat earlier."

James' eyes widened.

JJ frowned "Anyone I know?"

Ella laughed once more and shook her head "We have blood pouches, the sort you donate at the blood bank."

James sighed in relief "So you've never actually... you know?"

Ella smiled dreamily "Oh no, I have. It's the most amazing thing, the taste and warmth running through your system. The scent of fear and horror from the victim," she bared her teeth, fangs showing. "There isn't anything like it."

Alucard grinned "If only the Police Girl was more like you."

Ella glared "If you're trying to build a harem, I'm telling ya buddy, you're SOL."

He shrugged and looked at James "Are these the only photos?"

James nodded "Everything we got off the camera is there."

They turned and studied the pictures.

--

Ella stretched "I'm famished."

James glared "That's not funny."

Ella looked at Alucard.

JJ sighed "Son, I dinna think she's joking."

James paled "But... you already... fed... today."

Ella nodded "Go on."

"So you shouldn't need to ...feed... for another month or so."

Ella blinked "I think you're thinking of snakes."

Alucard picked up a photo and grinned "What's this?"

Ella looked over, the photo he held was of the dungeon, what made it stand out from the rest was the image of two shadows on the wall.

James shrugged "We don't know exactly, we think that she could have been standing at an angle that reflected her shadow twice."

Alucard looked over "Two different shadows?"

James frowned "Different?"

Alucard pointed to one "You can plainly see long hair and pants on this shadow, whereas this other shadow has short hair and is wearing a dress."

Forgetting his fear of the hungry vampires, James walked over and examined the photo. He let out a vicious curse "How could we miss that! We went over these photos with a fine tooth comb."

Ella frowned and looked at the photos then Alucard, "Maybe it's time we played tourist."

He thought about it and turned to JJ "Is it safe for her to go with me to the dungeon?"

JJ nodded slowly "Aye, I dinna like it, but she's safe enough with ye at her side. But if ye plan to take any pictures ye best go now, else the dungeon will be at its zenith."

Ella blinked "You mean it has a major activity time?"

He nodded and looked at the clock "Another hour and the castle's activity starts up at its worst."

Alucard frowned at the photos, trying to save them to memory; he looked back up at Ella and nodded "Let's get your camera."

--

Ella stood at the top of the stairs and cursed "Why does everyone build their dungeons below ground? And why is there _always_ stairs?"

"Because God loves to see you fall and hurt yourself as much as I do."

She sent Alucard a look letting him know she wasn't amused. He grinned back at her and turned. She jumped on his back and hooked her arms around his neck.

They appeared in the dungeon. Alucard looked around, "This is the room JJ said the camera was found."

Ella hopped off his back and took her camera out of its case, she frowned "You know we have no wedding photos."

"We're looking for a vampire and you're worried about wedding photos?"

"Pfft, one of us has to, anyway, a vampire is nothing special, us getting married is only ever going to happen the once and I have a feeling you're going to deny all knowledge of it later."

"And people say you're not bright."

"_You_ say I'm not bright."

"I'm allowed to, I own you. Besides, I don't take good photos."

She took a picture of the corner of the room "Bullshit, you could have gotten one of those portrait painters in or something."

He sent her an astonished look "You got me to propose, you got me to wear a suit, you got me to stay in the same room with the Judas Priest and you're _still_ complaining?"

She glared at him "I want wedding photos dammit!"

He opened his mouth and closed it quickly; he grabbed the camera from her hands and took several photos of the wall.

Ella huffed "He doesn't want any wedding photos; yet he's quite happy to take a million photos of a dungeon wall." She turned and looked around, content to let Alucard take the photo's, she knew he had better reflexes and a much better memory then her. She was mentally coming up with a plan to make him renew their vows with a photographer on hand, when she saw a black cat walk past the room. She grinned "Kitty."

She took three steps towards the door when Alucard's hand shot out and grabbed her by the nape of her neck. He pulled her over to his side and anchored her there with an arm around her shoulders "What are you doing?" He muttered.

She looked back to the doorway "Kitty."

He sighed "I told Integra you had a mental problem."

She grinned up at him "And yet you still married me."

"A momentary lapse in my sanity."

She rubbed her cheek on his coat "And you'll be living happily with me for the rest of your life or I'll make you pay dearly."

He frowned "Maybe I should have gotten a prenuptial agreement."

Her eyes narrowed and she hissed "Not funny."

He hissed back "I wasn't trying to be." He took another photo, "Then again, it would be pointless because I'd most likely kill you instead."

Her chin rose "Oh yeah, what makes you think you'd win?"

A feminine voice called out _"Ella."_

Alucard laughed "You beat me? Not likely."

It called out once more _"Ella."_

Ella growled "Try it big boy and I'll kick your arse!"

_"Ella."_

Alucard rolled his eyes "Ella, you were lost in a room with one door; I believe I have the brains advantage."

_"Ella."_

Ella growled and spun around "WHAT! Oh sweet Jebus. Red?"

Alucard looked over and raised an eyebrow, "A ghost." He raised the camera and took several photos.

Ella took a step towards him and whispered "What does it want?"

_"Ella."_

Alucard looked down at her "That answer your question."

She shook her head and looked at the young woman standing battered and bruised before her "I can't help ya mate. You're dead, gone, kaput, swimming with the goldfish. Ummm, go to the light or something."

Alucard sighed "Smooth; little mental. Smooth"

_"Ella."_

She cursed "Look mate, that asshat over there is right, I can't find my way out of a room with one door. I'm not the right person to be asking help from."

The woman held her hand out, reaching for Ella; she started to fade _"Ella... Get... Out."_

Ella's mouth dropped open as she disappeared, she turned and looked at Alucard "That dead bitch!"

He grabbed her and pulled her head down; something flew past and slammed into the wall behind them. Ella looked around "What the fuck was that?"

Alucard walked over to the wall and bent down, he picked up a small necklace and turned around "I'm guessing this belongs to one of the missing guests of this castle, it's too new to belong to any of the ghosts."

Ella looked around "Someone threw jewelry at me? Is it pretty jewelry?"

He sighed and held it up for her to examine.

She grinned and looked around the room "It's pretty jewelry, thank you jewelry flinging ghost."

He shook his head and tossed her onto his back "Only you could think an ominous warning from a dead person as a present."

"Well, they did throw it at us so it is technically ours right?"

He laughed "My little mercenary."

"Is that a yes?"

--

They sat in James' house examining the necklace.

Ella looked at JJ "That's my necklace now, someone gave it to me."

Alucard sighed "Ella, we've been over this, it wasn't a gift it was a warning."

She nodded "My warning, my necklace."

He pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers "Why did I marry you again?"

She reached down into her bag "Hang on." She pulled out a piece of paper.

"You have a list?" He asked flatly.

She looked up at him "Yep, now shush while I read it out to you."

He looked at JJ "She has a list."

Ella glared "Shut up." She cleared her throat "Reasons why Red, that's you Alucard, married/ is with me."

"I'm guessing that's you."

She sent him a look telling him to be quiet and read on "Number one: The sex is adequate. Number two: The sex is adventurous. Number three: The sex is plentiful. Number four: The sex-"

Alucard interrupted "Is it all sex?"

She frowned down at the list "No, just numbers one through five. You want me to skip those?" At his nod she cleared her throat once again "Number six: I make you feel smarter by comparison. Number seven: I look great naked. Number nine: I am easily amused; so you don't have to constantly take me places. Number ten: My social connections make up for your social retardation."

"_Social retardation?_"

She gave him a blank look "Alucard, when we go somewhere you either scare the shit out of everyone or bitch the whole time. And killing freaks doesn't count as social interaction."

He sent her a glare that would have frightened off anyone else. Ella just rolled her eyes and glared back.

James cleared his throat "Umm, do you two need anything else?

Ella looked over "Any chance we could get the files on the other disappearances?"

He rubbed a hand over his face "I don't like taking files from work."

JJ shrugged "Well if ya dinna want them to solve these mysteries for ye, I understand and so do they, after all, the families of the missing victims dinna need anything like closure from this."

James glared at his father "You really know how to play me Da."

Ella leant over to Alucard and whispered "Suspect."

Everyone looked at her; she put on her puss in boots eyes and looked at James "We won't lose them. In fact, why don't you make copies and we can have them?"

James slowly nodded "I'll bring them to your rooms when I'm done. How far back do you want?"

Alucard stood up "As far back as the records go."

James sighed "You'd better find what ever's killing folks at the castle."

Alucard nodded. Ella grinned and gave him a thumbs up, she twirled around in a circle and spun her arms up, she grinned and winked before making a 'gun' with her thumb and index finger "You can count on us! Freeze frame. Swirly background."

Alucard blinked "What are you doing?"

She looked over and stood normally "Anime pose."

He sighed and walked out "Let's go little mental."

--

_Three hours later:_

Ella stood next to Alucard and looked down at the bed, they had come back to the hotel, had hot, wild, vampire sex and then a quick nap. Ella rubbed the back of her neck and sighed "We..." She stopped and kept looking at the bed.

Alucard looked at her and frowned when he heard a knock at the door. He walked over and opened it, his hand inside his coat.

James smiled and walked in with a box filled with manila folders. He walked past the bed and nodded to Ella before dropping the box on the ground and pulling out his gun.

Alucard appeared in front of Ella and growled.

Ella covered her face with her hands and moaned softly in denial. She moved to stand next to her husband, but he pushed her back behind him. She let out a sigh and jumped on his back "Let's talk this out before you men start a pissing war and shoot the shit out of this room. Red? What do you notice about James?"

Alucard growled "He has a gun pointed at you."

She nodded "Okay, but technically the guns pointed at you. What else?"

Alucard frowned "What do you mean? He's pale, shaky, sweating, afraid, and..."

"And staring at the bed."

He frowned and looked at the bed "Oh."

Ella nodded "Yes, oh." She looked at James "Honey? James?" He looked at her with wide frightened eyes, She smiled gently "Babe, this isn't what you think."

He frowned and nodded at the bed "But?"

She nodded "We were looking at that before you came into the room."

His frown deepened "You mean somebody did that?"

She laughed "No, we did that. But it's not what you think; in fact I was wondering what housekeeping would have thought the first night we stayed?"

Alucard shrugged, more relax now that James has lowered his gun slightly "They probably thought we slaughtered a goat."

Ella nodded "Wouldn't surprise me." She turned back to James "We did this hon, me and Red. No one else."

He looked at the blood on the sheets "So that blood belongs to?"

"Me and Red? Yep."

"How?"

Ella laughed once more "Vampires have very kinky sex. In fact it's on the list as a reason Red married me."

"But... You're not bleeding now?"

"Our wounds heal fast if we wish them to."

"So you didn't...?"

"Kill someone and viciously feast upon their corpse? Nope, sorry."

He sagged against the wall and sighed with relief "No, I'm sorry."

She laughed and jumped off Alucard's back, she picked up the box and put the files back in, she looked up at him "Thanks for these."

He nodded and turned to leave "Sorry again," he muttered.

Ella grinned up at him "One more thing." He looked at her. She laughed and gestured to his gun "Bullets won't kill vampires, so even if we _had_ slaughtered someone, you'd be helpless to stop us. Bye now, sleep well."

James went white.

Alucard laughed and shut the door.

_Day 4:_

Ella and Alucard stared at the cork board in front of them; they'd asked the hotel management if they could have a whiteboard, some markers and a cork board and tacks. From the way they had hastily been delivered and the fact no questions had been asked; answered Ella's question on whether or not others knew about the bloody sheets from their room.

Ella clapped her hands.

Alucard looked down at her "You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"I feel just like the Scooby gang."

"Scooby gang?"

"Scooby-doo. I'll be Daphne, you can be Fred."

"I don't want to be Fred."

"Why?"

"I don't want to wear a fucking neckerchief, and I know you're thinking about us dressing like the characters from Scooby-doo."

Ella stared at the corkboard.

"Ella?"

She finally looked at him "You... You know Scooby-doo?"

He glared and looked away "Who doesn't."

"You... The No-Life-King. Alucard. The most feared vampire, some say the first vampire. You watched Scooby-doo?"

"Shut up."

Ella started laughing "Wait till I tell the others you're a Scooby-doo fan!"

--

They had looked through nearly all of the files and had pinned the people they believed to be relevant to the case. After several hours they had a pile of files deemed 'Most important', 'less important' and 'Randomish' (The name was Ella's contribution.)

Ella pulled one of the photos down and started sorting through the files, "I don't know about this one."

Alucard glanced over "Why not?"

"She doesn't fit in with the others, she was in her late 30's, dull brown hair and eyes, pasty skin, acne scars, from this photo I'm looking at she had no idea how to use tweezers or wax on her _eyebrow_."

Alucard grinned "I'd love to see how you would have described her if she was an enemy."

Ella winced "Christ, I did sound like a high school skank, didn't I?"

"On the plus side, you now have the strength and ability to kill every high school skank that ever talked about you that way."

Ella smiled dreamily "Promise?"

He grinned.

She frowned down at the file, "I don't know. I think we should investigate this girl more."

Alucard sighed "What do we have to do?"

She looked down at the file "I think this place is near here. Is it?"

He looked down "Yes."

"Alright, says here that her family is religious. Hmmm?" She looked Alucard up and down.

"What?" He muttered warily.

"We need to make a few changes first."

--

"Ella, I look like a goddamn insurance salesman!"

"Stop being such a baby Red and open your eyes."

"What have you got behind your back?"

"Something to make you look a little more human."

"What? I can't see anythi- _Ahhhhhh_ _that stings! What the hell are you doing?!_"

"Stop being a baby! You want to play with the big kids or not? One more to go."

"_Get that away from me demon bitch!_"

"You are such a drama queen! Do you want me to tell Pip how you squealed like a girl and ran around the honeymoon suite?"

"No."

"Then stay still and let me put it in!"

"_I hate you!_" He hissed.

--

They stood out front of the address listed as Mary Gordy's next of kin.

Alucard was still annoyed at her, but not even Integra would be able to recognize him now. His hair was tied back in a pony tail; he was wearing a plain black suit and had brown contact lenses in. The contact lenses had been a mission to get in, as he hadn't wanted them in the first place so Ella had to tackle him to the ground and poke them in his eye. Not fun for either of them when you considered she had nails.

Ella looked at her watch "It's late, should we knock or go back to the castle?"

Alucard walked up to the door and knocked three times.

A woman answered the door; she was petite with brown hair streaked with grey.

Alucard nodded to her "We're sorry to disturb you so late. We're part of the special unit investigating your daughter's disappearance."

The woman's eyes widened "Oh, we were just about to have dinner."

Ella smiled "That's alright. We can come back tomorrow."

"Oh no. Come on in. I always make more then we can eat."

Ella looked at Alucard. He nodded and pushed her inside.

They walked into a large dinning room. A large rectangular table stood in the middle of the room. An elderly man sat at the head of the table. He looked over and frowned. The woman smiled "These people are special unit investigators; they're investigating Mary's disappearance."

The man stood up and smiled "Hello, I'm Peter, that's my wife Helen. Our son Paul." He pointed to a man in his 30's with thinning brown hair, he then gestured to another man aged about 35, "That's Matthew, next to him is Mark, then Luke and lastly our daughter Joan." All of their children looked to be in their late 20's to early 40's, they all had dark hair and brown eyes. They all also openly gaped at Ella and Alucard.

Alucard nodded to each in turn "I am Alucard and this is Ella," he looked at the men in turn "my _wife_."

Ella raised an eyebrow at the emphasis on wife, but she let it go. Something about this house gave her the creeps. She looked over at the wall and counted seven crucifixes. She shuddered, involuntary remembering her own experience on a cross. In between the crucifixes were paintings of Jesus in different stages of crucifixion, from the whipping, carrying the cross, to being nailed upon it and stabbed.

Ella didn't know how these people could enjoy a good meal with images of tortured Christ on the walls, and people thought her taste in music was bad. This was just horror movie creepy.

Alucard noticed her gaze on the crosses and placed a hand on the small of her back. "We won't keep you long; we'd just like to ask a few questions."

Helen smiled and tilted her head "Don't be silly. You two sit on down and have some dinner with us. We were just about to pray."

Ella reached behind her and grabbed Alucard's hand, she squeezed it tightly and looked around the room "Yay" she squeaked out. These people were getting more and more freaking horror movie 'wrath of God, thou shalt smite evil' and she was a fucking vampire.

Alucard smiled, having read her thoughts, he leaned down and whispered "When they ask us religious views, don't answer. And don't tell them you're Catholic, in fact, don't eat or drink anything, they may be planning a family visit to heaven and decide to take us along."

Her eyes widened and she hissed "Not funny!"

He pushed her towards an empty chair next to Peter, and he sat at the other chair next to Joan.

Peter smiled at her and stood "Let us bow our heads and pray."

Ella bowed her head and started praying these people were just normal religious freaks, anything else and she just might freak out herself.

She felt Alucard's presence in her mind '_don't worry little mental. Do you really think I'd let anyone harm you? These people would be dead before they could even touch you, I'd rip their throats out, tear their arms off, gouge out their eyes and pull their intestines slowly from their bodies if they even think about touching you.'_

She smiled and felt better, and then the father started praying.

"Dear Lord, we give you thanks for this food; for which we are about to receive. We ask of you Lord to bless each and every one of us in this room. We ask you help young Alucard and his wife Ella to find the monsters who took our daughter away from us. And Lord, we also ask that you stop those who would oppose us. We don't expect you to kill them all Lord, but if you could see it in your mighty heart to maim or cripple them that would be very appreciated."

Ella's mouth dropped open; she looked over at Alucard and sighed when she saw he just looked bored.

Peter continued "We ask oh Lord, those whose views oppose your infinite wisdom; be taken down into the pits of hell where Satan will rape their bloated corpses and maggots crawl through their bodies. We ask that the demons of the world are beaten, burned, have their limbs torn off, their eyes gouged out, their throats slit."

'_Why not ask God to skull fuck them while he's at it, Oh my god, these people are horror movie religious freaks, but at least I know why Red's so bored, this is the shit he dreams about doing to others in his sleep.' _Ella thought to herself.

"Oh Lord, we ask this of you and offer ourselves as servants to your body. We ask that the demon vampires of the world are slowly killed or brought to us to kill them for you."

'_Oh oh, this could be bad. At least that woke Red up from his nap.'_ Ella mentally sighed; they had to get the fuck out of there and quick.

"Thank you Lord for bringing these Angels down to us and may you bless us all. Amen."

The others repeated "Amen."

Ella looked around and saw none of them seemed shocked by the prayer. She started to breathe heavier, and looked away from the family. Her gaze rested on the wall, bad move, the crucifixes and pictures of Jesus were all she could see, it brought back the images and pain of her own death and torture. She started shaking. Alucard entered her mind once more _'You know what I was reminded of?'_

_'What?'_ She thought.

He smiled at her from his seat _'That Simpson's episode with Sideshow Bob. Marge was listening to Bart pray, he asked God to kill Sideshow Bob. Do you remember the next lines?'_

She smiled at her plate and felt herself start to calm down, she thought of Marge _'Bart! You don't ask God to kill people for you!'_

Alucard nodded and added in a Homer impersonation _'Yeah, you do your own dirty work!'_

She sighed softly, fully calm now that she realized Alucard was with her in every way.

He looked around and smiled his thanks to Joan, who handed him some food, he scooped some onto his plate and glanced quickly at Ella _'little mental, I'm going to need you to put those acting skills of yours to use. Don't react in fear. Think like a religious human. They're watching us closely. Eat the food and say little, I believe the women in this household are expected to be seen when needed but not heard. A lesson you should take into account. Don't react.'_

Ella kept a poker face on and smiled at Alucard, the smile promised she'd get him later for the earlier comment. She accepted the food and took a couple of bites.

Alucard looked at Peter "Pardon me for asking, but in your prayers you said something about vampires?"

Peter nodded and stared at them both for a minute, watching them both eat he seemed to relax "Vampires are real, they exist too."

Alucard raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair "Really?"

Peter sighed "I know it sounds crazy to you, but I've seen them. I've killed them too."

"How?" Alucard leaned forward and looked at him. He mentally thanked Ella for the contacts he had in, he knew that they would have be suspicious if he had worn his glasses and his red eyes would have given them away as vampires. He didn't want to kill these ignorant peasants, but if it came down to it and he believed they were threatened, he wouldn't hesitate to call Integra and ask for permission to kill them. He glanced over to see how Ella was taking this newest turn of events, she had taken his advice and kept her head down and ate her food. He quickly checked her mind to see what she was thinking about. He mentally grinned, she was thinking about a new strip routine she wanted to try out on him. He left her mind quickly, not wanting to get too caught up in the images.

Peter was staring at her closely; lust in his eyes "You have a very beautiful young wife. She seems very obedient."

Alucard smiled "Yes, but then again I'm a very possessive man, anyone else touches what's mine and I wouldn't hesitate to attack."

They were silent once more, Alucard got the feeling Peter didn't want to discuss vampires around the women. They finished dinner and Helen smiled at him and looked at her husband, he nodded. She stood up "Time for us women to leave the men to their port."

Ella looked up "Huh?"

Helen blinked.

Ella looked around the room "I'm sorry, what'd I miss?"

Alucard grinned "Leave the men to talk manly things and go play with the women."

Ella grimaced and muttered "Sus." Before getting up and following Helen and Joan out.

Alucard looked over to see the men staring at Ella as she left, he looked back to find Helen and Joan staring at him.

He turned to Peter "About those vampires."

--

A music box ended a soft lullaby, Ella sighed "That was beautiful."

Helen nodded and gently closed the lid "It was Mary's."

Ella nodded "About your daughter?"

Helen smiled "Let's not talk about her at the moment. You have a very interesting looking husband. Have you been together long?"

Ella looked at Joan, who just smiled back. Ella was starting to get one of her feelings about the place. She mentally sent Red a heads up on it and sighed when he just sent back '_Don't touch anything, don't break anything and don't piss anyone off!_' She smiled once more "We've been together for about five months."

Helen looked surprised "Is that how long you've been married?"

"No, we were only just married four or five days ago."

"So soon."

"Sometimes you just know."

"That is true. My Peter took one look at me and we married the next week."

Ella blinked unsure of whether or not being compared to them was a good thing, she muttered "How nice."

Helen nodded dreamily "Your husband seems so very strong and full of muscles. Hmmm, he had very broad shoulders."

"And a broad chest" Joan added.

Ella looked at both women and took a step backwards.

Helen inhaled deeply "He has such a musky scent."

Ella's eyes widened "You ... smelt him?"

Helen laughed softly "Such manliness permutes the air, his scent is everywhere. Can you smell it?"

"Umm... Y...yes?"

She ran a finger around her dresses collar "Such a strapping youthful man."

Ella looked at Joan; she was inhaling the air like a crack addict who found sherbet on a park bench. '_Red?_' Ella thought '_Umm, no need to be alarmed, but these two are mentally raping you, and it's really starting to creep me out. I mean serious mental rape. They have stripped you nekid and thrown you on the floor, I wouldn't be surprised if they started to ... Sweet Jebus they just did! RED THEY'RE ACTUALLY ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, MENTALLY RAPING YOU! I THINK WE CAN GO NOW!'_

--

Alucard didn't know whether to laugh or grab Ella and get the hell out of Dodge. Sadly Ella wasn't the only one who was having slight difficulties with the Grady family. Unless he was mistaken Paul just licked Ella's fork.

He looked over at Peter who was rambling on about how much easier life was when a man wore a warrior's outfit, complete with chain mail and shield. Alucard looked around "Where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall third door to the right."

He nodded and walked into the bathroom. He locked the door and pulled out his mobile phone, he dialed and listened "_Hello?_"

"Master, I need clearance."

"_Alucard. No need to ask how the honeymoon's going. But for the last time you can't kill Ella!_"

"Not her, other clearance."

"_On what grounds?_"

"A bit of mental insanity followed by a threat to both myself and Ella, and add some religious zealots and you've got this family."

"_... Alucard what the hell have you gotten yourself into on your honeymoon?_"

"This was Ella's idea."

"_...Well that explains it. But unless they attack you with intent to kill you are refused clearance. If any family dies in that area, Hellsing will launch a full investigation and you and Ella will be locked in the cell below._" She hung up.

Alucard cursed.

--

Ella looked around and wondered if she could sneak out the window, grab Red and haul ass back to Hellsing. She could handle a stripper pulling a string off pearls from some place they shouldn't go in a room full of drunken men, but _this_ right now, this was too much for her. She was grossed out, freaked out and went _waaaay_ past creeped out when they started mentally raping her husband.

What the hell had she gotten them into? Alucard was going to have a field day if they got out of this alive. But at least one question had been answered. Mary Grady had either run away from her psychotic family or they had killed her themselves. Ella was leaning towards the latter.

Helen must have finished up with mental Red, because she opened her eyes and smiled at Ella.

Peter walked into the room and smiled at her too.

The men followed.

Ella looked at everyone and sighed, she had a feeling they were going to have to kill this family.

Helen took her husband's hand and looked at Ella "Peter and I share a very special kind of relationship."

Ella took a step back; at least now she knew how Debbie felt that first night, "Do you?" She squeaked.

Peter nodded "We have a very _sharing_ and very _open_ love."

Ella's eyes widened '_RED! KIND OF NEED YOU NOW!'_ She mentally sent.

Paul placed an arm around Joan's shoulder.

Peter smiled at his children "We all do."

Ella blinked and actually yelled out loud this time "_RED! HAUL ASS! NOW!_"

Alucard walked in "Sorry got locked in the bathroom."

Ella's face went blank "You got locked in the bathroom?"

"Shut up."

"You're serious aren't you?"

"I said shut it Ella!"

"Oh my god! Mister 'I can find my way out of a room with only one door!' _Hah_! Now who's the spazz, mister 'I can't open a bathroom door?!'"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Sure, we take into account _that _but ignore the fact that it was pitch black and I'd never been in the room before."

Peter frowned "What are you two talking about?"

"Double standards" Ella replied.

"Unfair judgments" Alucard shot back.

Ella glared at him "I am so going to rip on you for this."

"Sure thing Miss 'gets lost in a room with one door.' Now what was the problem here?"

Ella blinked at the sudden change in subject "Huh?"

"You screamed like a girl for help."

"I is a girl mister 'Can't open bathroom doors.' And the problem is this family is turning too cliché for me to handle."

"What in the hell does that mean miss 'Shiny things distract me?'"

"I mean cliché you asshat!"

"How?"

"Sweet Jebus Red! Hello in there! Two officers investigate daughter's disappearance, meet with religiously obsessed devout farmers who all have biblical names and the daughter named _Mary_ disappears. Mary the prostitute ring any bells?"

"Why do I get the feeling this is just the start of the cliché?"

Ella grinned "There's my smart boy, glad you could finally join us."

"Shut up and keep going."

"And people think I'm confusing."

"No, people think you're an idiot."

She glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Tell me the rest."

She flicked her hair back and looked at the wall.

Peter cleared his throat "If I may?"

Alucard glared "Shut up, we're not talking to you or your psycho family! Now Ella, please continue."

She started humming softly to herself.

He sighed "If you continue I'll buy you some more bubble wrap."

She sent him a wary look "Will you burn it like the last time?"

"No."

She smiled "I love you Red."

"Whoopee for me" he muttered sarcastically. "Now cliché?"

"Oh yeah, okay so not only religious but openly suggesting swinging _and_ incest!"

Alucard looked horrified.

Ella raised a finger "Oh yeah, plus I think they killed Mary after she tried to escape them and alert others to what was, no _is_ going on here."

Alucard raised an eyebrow "And what is going on?"

"Well, idiots like us come in and sit down to a nice wholesome, religious, family dinner, then we're separated and tested to see if we're willing to swing and if we're not we're _swung_ anyway and then killed."

Peter glared at his wife "_What did you tell her?_"

Helen looked around in alarm "N...nothing I swear!"

"_LIAR, WHORE!_"

Ella cleared her throat "She is telling the truth, I figured it all out while they were mentally raping my husband."

Alucard looked at both the women and shuddered "I feel so dirty!"

Ella grinned and winked at him "Don't worry love; I know just what to do with a dirty boy like you."

Peter glared "I find it hard to believe you figured this out on your own."

Ella shrugged "What can I say, I'm a genius."

Alucard rose an eyebrow "Ella, can you even spell genius?"

"G. E. N... genie... Shut up neckerchief!"

He glared at her "I am not Fred!"

"Stoner!"

"I am not a stoner!"

"Dog!"

"Bitch!" Alucard shot back at her.

"Fine," she threw her hands in the air "Badly dressed geeky girl it is."

"_Shut up both of you!_" Peter yelled.

Ella huffed "Fine, jeeze, no need to get testies."

"Testy Ella, Testy." Alucard sighed.

She shrugged "You say tomato I say potato."

Alucard rubbed his eyes "It's" he sighed "Never mind."

Joan looked at her father with tears in her eyes "Daddy, what will we do? What's going to happen to us?"

Peter wrapped an arm around Joan's shoulders "Don't worry daddy's little angel, we'll kill them both and everything will be all right."

Ella looked at Alucard "They are very 'Woodland Critters Christmas.'"

Helen clapped her hands "Wonderful idea."

Joan smiled "Yay daddy!"

Paul looked around the room "Family hug!"

They all embraced, Ella ran up and hugged them "Yay!"

Peter looked down at her "What are you doing?"

"Celebrating?"

Alucard sighed and yanked her back to his side.

Ella frowned at him "What?"

"Good for him equals bad for us, so celebrating plans to kill us isn't a good thing." He stopped and looked thoughtful "Then again, we do get to kill them so maybe it _is_ a reason to be celebrating." He took out his phone and hit redial "Threat to myself and the mental has been confirmed."

Integra's voice was heard to say "_Alucard! Do not do anything stupid! _"

"Well master? You did say that if I could confirm a threat it would be allowed."

"_Put Ella on!_"

He passed Ella the phone. She held it to her ear "Ahoy hoy?"

"_Ella._"

"Jesus?"

"_No._"

"Am I warm?"

"_No._"

"Pappy?"

"_Do you enjoy being stupid?_"

"Very much so. Now what can I do you for?"

"_Has there been a confirmed threat against yourself and Alucard?_"

"Ummmm, not really."

Alucard sighed "She means has anyone discussed killing us recently."

"Oh, weeeell there is the religious, incestuous farmers who talked about using our bodies for their sick pleasure and then killing us. Does that count?"

"_Put Alucard back on._"

"Okie dokie" she handed the phone over "I think Jesus wants a word with you Red."

He ignored her "So?"

"_Threat confirmed. Eliminate those you must. But contain it!_"

Alucard laughed "Yes my master," then hung up the phone.

Ella was staring at the ceiling "This is a _really_ big room."


	5. Honeymoon Part 3

_Okies, I was going to make this the last chapter in this, but seeing as how you have all been REALLY patient, thank you, I decided to upload this part and make next chappie the last. Promise lol._

_Well hope you enjoy it and remember to review._

_Thanks again for being patient._

_All the best,_

_Angil_

* * *

**Thanks to  
**WannaBeNinja **You are great and write the most awesome stories, so check her out.**  
SweetYuya **You are great and write the bestest most addictive stories too, so check her out too.  
**Vampire Hunter D's Girl **Thanks for the review, glad my twisted sense of humour amused someone else lol.  
**eliina **Lol, it's Ella's gift to Alucard, trouble no matter what. That family started to scare even me after a while lol.**

**Also thank you to all my readers, even those of you who don't review. Thank you for putting up with the wait.**

**Recap:**

_"Threat confirmed. Eliminate those you must. But contain it!"_

_Alucard laughed "Yes my master," then hung up the phone._

_Ella was staring at the ceiling "This is a really big room."_

**Begin:**

Ella turned to Alucard and frowned "What did I miss?"

He glanced over at her then back to the father "I'd say everything."

Peter, the father of the family, frowned at Alucard "You call a woman _master_?"

Ella grinned "Old habits, hey Red."

He ignored them and took a step towards Peter. Peter reached behind his back and pulled out a pistol, he fired six rounds at Alucard. Two in his head, three in his chest and one through the neck. Ella watched as Alucard fell to the floor in a bloody heap and sighed, "Men."

Peter turned to her with an astonished look upon his face "I just killed your husband and you simply say _men_?"

Helen and Joan were sobbing softly. Helen sent a mournful look at Alucard's body "He would have been such a great lover. I would have taken my time, slowly ridden him for all he was worth. Now he will never know the greatest pleasure."

Joan shook her head "Daddy, why? Why would you kill him before we could taste his essence and absorb his soul?"

Ella yawned.

Joan looked at her and pointed, she sung softly "If you should die before you wake, then you will be mine for your soul I shall take!"

Ella blinked "Sorry my dear, I don't have a soul."

Peter scoffed and shook his head "Stupid girl! Everyone has a soul."

Evil laughter surrounded them. The Grady family stepped back in alarm, Peter tired to hide behind his wife and Paul hid behind Joan. Ella shook her head and sighed "One day my evil laugh will make grown men hide behind women."

"It might take a while little mental, so far your evil laugh scares nothing, not even those dust bunnies."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Ella glared at the wall, "Is it my fault I thought dust bunnies would _actually_ look like bunnies? Besides, I've never told people I was quick."

"Don't worry, no one would ever make the mistake of believing you were quick."

"Shut up Red!"

Helen glanced around the room and whispered "Why do you call him Red?"

Ella looked around the room. A minute passed in which the Grady's waited for her answer. Finally she let out a long, drawn out sigh, "That would have been the best time to reveal yourself Red, I could have pointed to you and gone '_That's why!'_ But nope, you killed it. Bravo, good job."

"Would you like me to reveal myself now?" He muttered sarcastically.

Glaring at the wall, she lifted her chin higher "Not with that attitude mister!"

A soft sigh was heard "Ella, you're killing the mood."

She looked over and noticed the Grady's were no longer cowering in the corner of the room; they were staring at her as though she was some crappy addictive soap opera. "Oh," she muttered. "My bad."

"Just... just stop talking."

Ella looked at the carpet and frowned, there was a small discolored patch that looked suspiciously like a hastily cleaned up dark stain. She bent down and ran the tips of her fingers over it. It was dry, but parts they had missed; peeled up under her nails. She brought her hand to her nose and started sniffing. Alucard started to laugh. Ella looked down at herself, and sighed. She was kneeling on the carpet, sniffing her fingers. If it had been anyone but her doing it she would have laughed too. Instead she straightened up and muttered "Grow up Red. Besides, I found something."

"What?"

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, a shudder ran through her body. She licked her lips and hissed one word "Blood!"

The Grady's looked at each other in alarm. Alucard laughed menacingly "So you were right, they did kill Mary."

Staring down at the floor, Ella softly muttered "Red?"

"Yes?"

"May I ask you a favor?"

"What?"

She looked up to the Grady family, her eyes blood red; she smiled slowly; her fangs showing "Can I help?"

Alucard laughed and appeared next to her, he was in his usual red coat. Missing was his hat and glasses, his hair was down. He reached into his coat and pulled out his Casul "Would you prefer guns or...?"

She held out her hand and he helped her rise, she laughed softly once more "Or."

Peter started to shake "Wh...what are you?"

Alucard appeared behind him. Seconds before he sunk his fangs deeply into Peter's neck, he whispered "Death."

Blood spurted on the wall and Helen screamed in horror. Ella grabbed her by the throat and brought her close; she placed a small kiss on her cheek and purred "This is for what you planned to do to us." She bit down on Helen's neck and nearly moaned in pleasure as warm blood ran down her throat. She wrapped Helen's hair around her fist and pulled her head back, using her nails she ripped open Helen's throat, she looked at Peter and hissed "Where is your god now?"

Peter sobbed as his wife's blood splattered on the walls and himself. Alucard slammed his hand into Peter's chest and ripped out his still beating heart. He turned to Paul and grinned as the man turned and ran.

Ella turned to Joan and laughed "Run little rabbit, run!"

------

They stood out front of the house and Ella looked at Alucard, she wondered what he was thinking.

Alucard threw Ella's lighter into the house and watched the flames lick slowly at the curtains before catching ablaze on the liquor cabinet. He wondered if it was strange to be aroused watching Ella rip open a woman's throat. He decided it wasn't that strange considering she once confessed to being aroused watching him, as she said 'shoot the shit' out of some 'asshat.'

He turned to her as she took his hand "Remember little mental. If James asks..."

"We were never here, we were at the hotel having kinky vampire, blood sex."

He nodded arrogantly and tugged her away from the burning house.

------

_Day 5:_

Ella gasped in horror and crossed her arms over her chest; she glared and hissed "Just what are you accusing us of?"

James Jr sent her a look letting her know he didn't believe her little acting job. "The hotel staff says you left at 7:05pm and didn't return until 11:50pm. The Grady's burning house was discovered at 11:55pm."

Ella frowned "The who?"

"Cut the crap Ella. The Grady's. Remember your investigation? Mary Grady, one of the castle disappearances. Well ironically enough the father, Peter, left behind a note saying that the family was going to ascend into heaven together and that they had 'purified' Mary earlier then blamed it on the castle."

Ella slowly shook her head "Wow, some people are really sick."

James shook his head and glared at them "I find it to be too much of a coincidence that you two came back and _five minutes_ later the house has burned down."

Alucard, who had been leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, uncrossed his arms and raised his eyebrow "You had the hotel staff checking up on us?"

James shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable "Well you two are...." he stopped and looked at his father for help.

JJ just cackled "You're on your own son, 'sides, I want to see if ye can get yourself out of the hole you've dug."

Ella laughed "Christ I love ya JJ. James, do you honestly think that we can't get back into the hotel without the staff seeing us?"

James frowned "Are you saying that you...?"

She nodded "Me and Red were back at the hotel at 8:30 and had hot, wild, vampire sex until 11:30, at that time we went for a walk then came back."

JJ lent forward on his chair "You two had sex for two hours straight?"

Alucard shrugged "We don't limit ourselves to one per night."

He nodded and sat back. James cleared his throat "So..."

Ella smiled blankly "Look, it's" she glanced at Alucard.

He sighed and pointed to the clock. Her face stayed blank, he shook his head "12:55am."

"Okay, so it's 12:55am. It's time for you to get to bed and time for us to do," she lowered the pitch of her voice. "Secret vampire business!" Ella could sense Alucard's confusion but decided to let him stay that way, for once he might know how she felt most of the time.

JJ slowly started to get up; Alucard appeared next to him to help him up. James tensed and his hand twitched towards his gun. A move not lost on anyone. Ella sighed "You still don't trust us do you?"

James looked slightly embarrassed. JJ looked slightly ashamed until Alucard bent down and, ignoring the way James tensed once more, whispered something into JJ's ear. JJ looked relived and nodded slowly, accepting Alucard's arm he rose and walked over to give Ella a kiss on the cheek. James looked red in the face and mumbled a soft goodbye before leaving.

When they had left, Ella looked at Alucard and raised an eyebrow "They left a note? Ascended to heaven?"

He wrapped and arm around her shoulders and pulled her over to him. He kissed her passionately and pulled back. Running a finger down her cheek "I thought it added something. Though I must say I'm surprised that you didn't give us away."

Her eyes narrowed and she whispered "Oh really?"

He grinned in response.

She tackled him onto the bed and wrapped her hands around his wrists, "I'm going to make you sorry you ever said that."

While he said nothing in response the look upon his face said 'please do.'

----

_Meow, meow, meow._

Ella bolted awake and frowned; she could have sworn she heard Poe meowing. Looking over she blinked in surprise at the fact that their bedroom door was slightly open. She saw the end of a cat's tail leave the room. She glanced over at Alucard and considered waking him up, she decided against it, looking at how peaceful he looked and how non-breathing he was, that was still creepy. She slid out of bed and walked softly over to the door. She looked out and stared at the cat sitting at the end of the hall.

The cat tilted its head and licked its paw as if to say 'come on, I'm waiting for you.' Shrugging, she walked out and shut the door. She looked down at herself and cursed when she realized she was still naked, she looked at the cat and held up both hands "One minute kitty. I just need to get dressed." She came out two minutes later in a black satin negligee; the only one Alucard hadn't destroyed, and sighed in relief at the sight of the cat still waiting at the end of the hall. It sent her a look she decided meant it was criticizing her choice of clothing. She glared and hissed "It was the only thing I could find on short notice!" The cat turned and flicked its tail into the air arrogantly. Ella thought 'Whoa, big balls. Definitely male.'

She followed it to the stairs and stopped when he did. They both stood at the top and Ella sighed "You want me to go first right?" Big balls, as she named him, meowed in response. As she took the first step she wondered why there was no one around, it was a fancy castle that should be staffed 24/7. So why couldn't she see anyone? Then she felt something shove her from behind. She fell down the steps and landed with a _thump_ at the bottom. She sat up and winced as pain shot through her head; she reached up a hand and gently touched the back of her head. Pulling her hand away she cursed when she saw blood on her fingers. Big balls padded over to her and licked the blood off her hand, she pulled it quickly away and prayed that a taste of her blood wouldn't create a ghoul kitty. She was so concerned about the cat she forgot about the shove that sent her tumbling down the stairs.

---

She followed Big balls through the halls until he came to a stop at the top of another set of stairs. She looked down then shook her head. Big balls meowed as if to say 'What is it?' She sighed "Sorry boy, but this is where the tour ends. See down there?" She gestured to the bottom of the stairs. "That's the dungeon, I'm not allowed down there. And with very good reason." She bent down and patted him on the head "I'm going back to bed now my love. You look after yourself." Big balls rolled onto his back and fell down the stairs. Ella jumped up and looked down in alarm "Big balls?! Big balls?!" Once more she felt something shove her. Her last coherent thought as she tumbled down the staircase was 'Red is so going to kill me.'

----

Ella groaned in pain and opened her eyes. Alucard looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. "Big balls," she mumbled.

He looked down at his naked body and back to her with a strange look on his face. Ella groaned and slowly shook her head, "No. Big balls, the ca.... Why are you naked?"

"As I recall we had sex last night. That generally requires us to be naked. What I want to know is why are you dressed?"

She looked down and frowned at the black satin negligee then sat up slowly and touched a hand to the back of her head. The wound was still oozing blood. There was something else, two bumps in her skin that felt like circles, they were roughly 5 centimeters apart. She looked up at Alucard, clearly confused "How did I get here?"

He looked around the room and blinked "We slept here last night."

She shook her head and winced as a bolt of pain shot to her temples "No. Last night, I followed Big balls, the cat. He wanted me to follow him and I wondered why no one was around, the castle should be staffed but no one was there, then..." She frowned and rubbed her eyes "Something.... something happened."

He looked at her and saw she was serious, he was slightly alarmed. When he had woken up something felt wrong and he found Ella on the floor wearing a very sexy black thing. But there was something different about her, something that was wrong. Now, hearing this, he was worried but didn't let it show for fear it would just make her worry, he wondered when he had become so soft. Shrugging he helped her up "It mustn't be important, it was probably just a dream."

Still frowning she reluctantly agreed, only she knew both of them were lying.

----

Alucard was growing more concerned, though he didn't let it show. Ella was quiet, too quiet. For the first time since he met her he wanted her to babble on about something he didn't care about. He even tried bringing up several cartoons he knew she loved, nothing. He then insulted Kakashi from Naruto and Bya and Kenny from Bleach (even though he had no idea who they were, he knew Ella loved them,) he got no reaction out of her other then a nod every now and again. He felt like hitting her just to see if she'd react.

He got up and dragged her with him to a phone; he called JJ and demanded the old man come quickly to the castle and that it was an emergency. When he arrived, Alucard pushed him towards Ella and walked away. He didn't like seeing her so lost and empty, but moreover he had caught a scent on her skin that didn't belong. He needed to know who had touched what was his and make them pay with blood.

---

JJ tried talking to Ella, but she ignored everything he said and seemed to be growing more and more distressed. Blood beaded on her forehead and gathered at the corners of her eyes. She started breathing heavier and shaking. JJ jumped up as fast as his arthritic body would allow him and yelled out to Alucard just as she fell to the floor unconscious.

----

Ella didn't even know JJ was there. All she knew was that Alucard had shoved her away and left, she was alone. Her master had left her for dead; soon the sun would rise and burn her body to a crisp. Soon the hunters would arrive and stake her. Her master thought she was worthless, therefore she _was_ worthless. She started to sweat as all the thoughts slammed themselves into her mind. She fought back, pushing them away with the thought that she had no master. She called no one master.

Once more the image of Alucard pushing her away ran through her head. Her husband was dead. He was with another woman. She mentally screamed in denial and fought back the tears she could feel gathering. Her husband pushing her down the stairs, that one she didn't have a problem with because he _had_ pushed her down the stairs before. Her husband telling a woman how much he hated her and couldn't stand her touch or voice. Her husband biting down viciously on her neck and ripping it open, reaching a hand down and clawing open her stomach, him leaning over her as his hand came down and slammed into her chest, she felt the breast plate crack and break, he ripped her heart right out and crushed it in his palm.

Ella got angry, viciously cursing him in her head, she focused on his touch and the day he turned her. She started to shake at the sheer effort of keeping those images locked in her mind. A woman screeched and her world went black once more.

----


	6. Honeymoon Part 4 END!

Ella got angry, viciously cursing him in her head, she focused on his touch and the day he turned her. She started to shake at the sheer effort of keeping those images locked in her mind. A woman screeched and her world went black once more.

_--_

Ella let out a groan and rolled to the side, she felt like she was going to be sick, there was a deep pounding in her head like thousands of little men with pickaxes were playing a do or die game of Yahtzee.

Alucard mentally sighed with relief, if Ella's mind was creating illogical situations like the Yahtzee playing pickaxe men, then everything was alright again. He briefly frowned and wondered what the hell Yahtzee was.

JJ sent up a brief prayer of thanks to God that Ella was okay, not simply because the child was a beautiful, though ditzy and klutzy girl, but because the look on the King of the vampires face when he'd seen his wife fall indicated that unless she was okay someone was going to die. JJ had a feeling that okay or not, someone was stupid enough to attack the vampire king's wife, and death was soon going to follow.

He looked over to Alucard and cleared his throat "Me lord? I'm thinking your wife was victim to an attack on her mind."

Alucard nodded "What little there is."

Ella sighed "Shut up love." She slowly sat up and winced "I swear to Christ if I hear one of those little shits yell Yahtzee one more time I'm going to take their pickaxes and shove it up their…" she looked around, "No one's yelling Yahtzee are they?"

Alucard blinked in confusion, he'd never been happier to wear glasses then when Ella came along and he found himself stupidly staring blankly or looking confused at something she was saying or doing. It was humiliating the way this mere slip of a girl could make him, him, look like an idiot.

JJ grinned "Nay lassie, you're the only one hearing Yahtzee."

Alucard once again stopped himself from asking what the hell Yahtzee was and why everyone else seemed to know except him. He realized that unless he asked he would be plagued with curiosity. Letting out an inaudible sigh he looked at JJ "What is Yahtzee?"

Ella blinked up at him "Why does everyone keep saying Yahtzee? Are we playing?" Her eyes brightened and she clapped her hands "I get to be the car!" she looked over to him "You can be the iron or the thimble."

He didn't know what the hell she was on about now, cars, irons and thimbles? Why the hell did he stay with her? She was obviously an inferior creature. He bit back a smile as he remembered her list of reasons why they belonged together and mentally shook his head. She was a ditz, a spazz, a klutz, drove him crazy and the odds were she was crazy herself, but she was _his_ and he would die protecting her. Which made him glare as he realized they were still on the ground where she had passed out after an attack on her.

Ella grinned up at him "Oh oh, someone finally remembered what we were doing here."

"Why do I stay with you?"

She held out a hand and shrugged after he helped her up "Damned if I know, the sex isn't even that good." She mentally started counting.

"_What do you mean the sex isn't even that good!? You're like some god damned nymphomaniac when I'm around and the sex isn't even that good!?"_

JJ looked over "How many?"

Ella laughed "He made it 7 seconds before exploding, a new record." She ran her fingers down Alucard's cheek "The sex isn't good love, it's spectacular and I _am_ a nympho with you." She winked and sauntered away.

JJ looked over at Alucard and chuckled "Well me lord, she made you forget all about your troubles."

He rubbed a hand down his face and sighed before frowning and turning to face the old man "Why do you call me lord?"

JJ rolled his eyes and shook his head "I'm old but I'm not slow. Your presence is one thing, powerful, commanding, fearsome. Your name is another Alucard." He looked over slyly "So did you actually meet Bram Stoker or was he simply hearing stories of your greatness?"

Alucard stared silently at the old man and finally smiled "We could use people like you at Hellsing." He turned and left him to go hunt down his wife and get some answers.

--

Ella stood naked in front of a full length mirror and sighed. Alucard was going to kill her. She looked at the clock and bit her lip. She had a theory about what happened and scarily it made sense, she looked once more at the clock, only an hour left until sundown. Straightening her spine, Ella sent one more look at herself in the mirror, dressed in her black bustier, black shorts, thigh high boots and threw on a long trench coat. She left the room with three thoughts in her head, one; she looked like a goth, two; she was risking death by Alucard's hand for her plan, and three; with her body covered in bite marks that didn't belong to her husband, she was planning to kill a ghost cat.

---

Alucard glanced around the room and frowned, something was wrong, there was a feeling and even a scent of evil in the room and it didn't belong to him or Ella. He let his senses soar to locate her. Hissing out a breath he opened his eyes and decided that no matter how good the sex, if Ella was where he thought she was, he was going to kill her.

---

JJ stepped inside the hotel and felt a shiver run down his spine. He looked around and took a step back, something big was beginning to brew. He turned and hurried away, his only thought was to get his kit.

---

Ella stood at the top of the stairs and wished for a gun, all she had with her was a knife she had stolen from the kitchens, which she had already stabbed herself with twice already. She let out a long breath and took a step down. Once more she felt hands on her back pushing her.

--

Alucard sunk into his shadows and felt the shifting of the air around him as he lowered himself down to the dungeon. The second he emerged he growled, something was there, something evil. He felt a brush upon his leg and pulled out his Casul, pointing at the offending creature he frowned, what the hell was a cat doing in the dungeon?

--

JJ entered the hotel once more and knew he had to get as many people out of there as he could. It was only fifteen minutes until sundown.

--

Ella spun grabbed at the hands she had been expecting "Pushing me down the stairs gets a little old after a while sweetheart. Predictability is something I loathe both in myself and others."

When she got not reply she rolled her eyes "Come now Charlotte, I can feel your wrists" she tightened her hold on the invisible wrists and grinned when she heard a hiss of pain "You made several big mistakes my love, and all of them were about my husband."

Charlotte let out a bitter laugh "All men, living or dead are the same, you think I was mistaken about him? I give it another year before everything I showed you comes true."

"Pfft, I know Red better then anyone else and sure you were right about a couple of things, I mean he's already pushed me down the stairs and I can picture him telling another woman he hates me, I mean he tells me that already, but hey, he loves me too much to cheat on me and he wouldn't kill me simply because it would be a violation of everything he is now."

Ella could feel Charlottes amusement "So you know Alucard so well then?"

"Of course, he's my husband."

"No Ella, he's my husband."

Ella went white, there was too much truth in the way Charlotte spoke for her to be lying. "Wh…what?"

"He didn't tell you? Tsk, tsk, how like him. Alucard and I were married for two beautiful months before he left for that Mina bitch and was captured by Hellsing!" She was practically spitting at the mention of Mina and Hellsing. "I assumed he was dead and left for a new life in this," she drawled sarcastically "amazing village with a kindly Lord who walled me away."

Ella felt her stomach drop and her heart tear apart.

Charlotte laughed "So you see, he's still mine and I intend to keep him and make him suffer the same fate that I did."

Ella swallowed hard "So you're not divorced?"

"Hardly, divorce wasn't done back then."

She looked down "What about marriage certificates?"

"We don't have any of those."

Ell looked up and bared her fangs "Good, then I'll make him a widower tonight and no one else shall know." She lunged at still invisible body in front of her and smiled triumphantly as Charlotte became visible and the look of absolute surprise on her face.

--

JJ cursed as the young couple walked away from him whispering to each other about 'senile old men.' He cursed once more and decided more drastic measure was required.

--

Alucard studied the cat rubbing itself up against his leg and frowned, it looked so familiar to him, in fact, several times he had the feeling like he was missing something vital and important.

--

Ella and Charlotte rolled around on the floor, Ella stabbed Charlotte several times in the stomach and arms. Charlotte clawed Ella's face and neck, leaving behind deep gashes. Charlotte grinned "I've seen that Alucard is still an amazing lover."

Ella's eyes narrowed and she stabbed Charlotte in the breasts "_Bitch_!" she blinked "Wait… that explains how it was only one blood exchange with Killham to convert you into … whatever you are now." Ella's head shot up and she laughed "You and Alucard were never lovers!"

Charlotte cursed "How do you know?"

"Only virgins or mates can be converted and I'm Red's mate and Killham converted you so you were a virgin or Killham's mate."

Charlotte hissed "It matters not, Alucard and I are still wed and I intend to make him suffer!"

Ella smiled "That's okay, so do I." She punched Charlotte and jumped on her once more.

--

James Jr was sitting at his desk when the sun set, the world itself seemed to stop and hold its breath in that second. James knew immediately that whatever was really going on at the castle was going to end tonight and he had a bad feeling his Da was smack bang in the middle of it.

---

Alucard's head shot up, the sun had just set. He heard a sound behind him and spun around, he couldn't believe the sight in front of him.

--

Ella and Charlotte froze, the sun had just set. Charlotte let out a giggle "Now the fun truly begins." She disappeared before Ella had the chance to ask her what she meant. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye and turned her head just as several bodies fell on top of her.

--

JJ ran through the reception yelling at the top of his lungs "_BOMB, THERE'S A BOMB IN THE CASTLE! EVERYONE RUN!"_ He watched with satisfaction as the guests and staff ran out. The sun set and the doors slammed shut on him and several other guests. His eyes widened at the sight of the stairs leading to the dungeon. He looked back at the remaining guests and lifted his kit "_RUN!" _He yelled as he pulled out his gun and let off rapid shots.

--

Alucard pulled out his gun and shot the ghouls making their way to him. He reloaded faster then the eye could see and continued shooting with two thoughts in his mind, he had to find Ella and protect her, and it was Ella's fault that this was happening, he didn't know how, but he knew it was.

--

Ella let the blood lust take her over and pushed at the ghouls on top of her. They flew back and slammed into the wall. She stood up and grinned, swipping out with her nails she ripped open the throat of the nearest ghoul before stabbing the next one in the eye and kicking it's legs out from underneath it. She stomped it's head into the ground and laughed when it exploded and splattered over the walls. She turned to the next one and tore its head off. Looking at the last one she sighed with contentment, she loved killing.

---

JJ herded the petrified guests upstairs to Ella's and Alucards room and barred the door, he looked around and cursed at the guest who were trapped. An elderly couple, a young couple, a family with small children and a man of about 40 who was shaking enough to rattle all his teeth out. He began to pray for a miracle.

--

Alucard shook his head and walked up the stairs, a head flew past him and bounced down the stairs. At least he knew where his wife was.

---

Ella grinned at Alucard as he walked up the stairs and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "How's it going luv?"

Before he could answer her several low growls reverberated around them, they turned and stared as a pack of ghoul like dogs slowly advanced upon them.

--

JJ heard crashing and shooting below and felt himself start to shake, he began to pray harder when a noise outside the door got his attention.

--

Ella's bloodlust died swiftly as she looked down at what was left of the ghoul dogs who had attacked them "Why?" She looked up at Alucard "Why would anyone use such beautiful creatures that way?"

He walked off and shrugged "Who knows what Charlotte is thinking."

Ella let out a vicious curse and glared at his back. Alucard stopped and looked at her with an expression of shock and horror on his face "Charlotte…"

Ella snarled "Yes Charlotte, your wife!"

He groaned and rested his forehead against her own "Why does it seem that I'm plagued with wives?" He looked down at her "Believe me Ella, I'd forgotten I was married before, it was nothing more then a brief grasp for something I knew I was missing, within the hour I realized she wasn't what I wanted or needed."

Ella looked away "Then there was Mina."

He rubbed his face tiredly "What can I say Ella, I've waited so long for you."

She felt her anger drain away "That was the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me Alucard. Don't worry though, I'll never make you repeat it."

"Promise?"

She laughed and kissed him "Promise."

He heard a noise from above and held out his Casul to her "I'll take the Jackel, let's go."

--

JJ tensed as the door knob began to turn, it jiggled slightly before a shot was heard and the sound of something splattering the thumping on the floor followed. He closed his eyes in relief and sent up a quick prayer of thanks. When he opened his eyes again; he jumped "Jesus lass! You scared me near to death!"

Ella squealed and picked him up before spinning him around "JJ!"

Alucard nodded to him and looked around the room "Where are the others?"

JJ sighed "I managed to get most of them out but when the sun set the doors slammed shut, so I herded the others up here to safety."

Alucard nodded and looked around once more "So this is everyone?"

A blood curdling scream of horror and pain was heard, the others started to whimper. Alucard nodded to himself "I need to make a few calls."

---

An hour had passed and every now and again a scream of pain and horror was heard to echo through the castle.

Ella stood with her back pressed against the wall, she turned and glanced at the man next to her "This isn't good."

Alucard sent her an astonished look "Tell me Ella, at what point did you figure that out? Was it before or after the flesh eating ghouls and demonic dogs began attacking?"

She said nothing then looked back at him, he let out a sigh of frustration "No, I don't expect you to answer that. It was a sarcastically put rhetorical question."

She opened her mouth, he covered it with his hand "That means shut up and let me deal with this mess you've caused."

She looked around and watched the chaos and terror of those in the room with them, an elderly couple sat huddled in the corner speaking softly, another honeymooning couple held each other and wept, all around the room people prayed for an angel, a miracle, help from God. Ella looked up at her husband and smiled, these people didn't know it yet, but their prayers had been answered by a 6 foot something vampire who was more likely to be friends with the devil then an angel from stood in front of him on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips, "Go be a hero."

He looked down into her eyes and gently cupped her chin; he lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered "This is your fault."

Then he was gone.

Ella glared at the wall he had just disappeared into and let out an curse.

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest; leaning against the wall she looked around the room once more before cursing again and admitting that he was right.

It was her fault, the whole thing was completely her fault, she now needed a way to blame someone else for this or she'd never live it down.

After all, how many women can truly say they unleashed a centuries old evil curse on their honeymoon?

----

Alucard walked through the halls cursing, of all the luck to remember he had a wife on his honeymoon, Ella was, thankfully, understanding. If it had been the other way around he would have killed her husband and locked her away in the Hellsing cell for the rest of her life.

He suddenly pulled out his Jackel and aimed for the wall in front of him.

Charlotte laughed and stepped out "Hello husband. I'd love to stay and reminisce about the old days but I have to kill your wife. Why don't you sit and play with your sister in law?" Charlotte smiled behind her "Come out and play with your brother in law Emily."

---

Ella tensed and looked around the room, she tightened her grip on the Casul and flicked off the safety.

A laugh echoed through the room "Hello Ella, long time no see. Would you like to play with all these innocents around or shall we go someplace private?"

Ella smiled "By all means Charlotte the harlot, lets got some place private."

Charlotte hissed tackled Ella to the floor.

--

Alucard looked down at the child in front of him and felt regret that she had become something inhuman partly because of him.

The girl looked up at him with innocent eyes "Help me brother" she whispered before her face contorted into something evil "Time to die." She lunged at him and sunk her teeth into his shoulder.

--

Ella flipped Charlotte and started punching her repeatedly in the face. Charlotte howled and grabbed Ella by the hair and pushed her off of her, she slapped Ella on the face.

Ella started to laugh "Did… did you… did you just _slap_ me? An…and pull my… _hair_?"

Charlotte gritted her teeth "Shut up you whore!"

Ella kept laughing "Be careful you don't break a nail!"

Charlotte let out a scream and sunk her fangs into Ella's neck.

---

Alucard ripped the child off his shoulders and threw her into the wall, she got up with a dazed look upon her face and big innocent eyes "Help me please." Once more her face twisted and changed.

--

Ella laughed even harder "Now you're _biting_? What's next? Scratching I bet!"

---

JJ stared in shock at Ella, the girl he knew was nothing like this one. This Ella was just as intimidating and scary as her husband. The fact that she laughed and ridiculed her enemy while they had the upper hand only gave the impression that she was merely toying with them. He didn't know if he should help of hide.

--

Ella felt a tiny flicker of fear as JJ stepped back, drawing attention to himself. She saw Charlotte look over to the old man and made the decision to end this now. As she pulled up the Casul, Charlotte lunged at JJ.

---

Alucard slammed Emily into the wall and stared into her eyes, he wasn't mistaken, when she was dazed or unprepared she was the same child he had known before. She looked up at him with fear in her eyes "Help me."

"How?" he hissed.

The girl started to change again so he slammed her once more into the wall "_How_?"

She looked at his gun, then into his eyes, a tear fell down her cheek "Help me."

Alucard looked at the Jackel and back to the tiny girl trembling before him. He raised the gun and gently kissed her cheek "Rest little one."

He pulled the trigger, the sound echoed through the halls.

---

Ella jumped in front of JJ and felt teeth and nails rip through her skin and muscles, she even felt the brushing of a nail against bone.

Coughing up blood; Ella looked up at Charlotte and raised the gun. She shakily pulled the trigger and cursed weakly as the shot grazed Charlottes arm. She knew she had only one more chance. A shot echoed through the hall. Charlotte turned her head in alarm "Emily." She whispered. It was the last word she spoke. Ella held the gun against Charlottes head and pulled the trigger.

---

Alucard was bending down to Ella just as Charlottes body hit the floor. He bent down and lapped at her wounds before giving her some of his blood. The door burst open and a young woman glided in she looked down at Charlotte then frowned and looked at Ella. "Who do I take? Maybe I should take both to be sure."

Alucard's eyes narrowed. Emily skipped into the room and smiled at him, she pointed to Ella "That's my brother's wife. Charlotte is that one there." The woman nodded and three ghouls came in and dragged Charlotte's body away. Emily smiled once again and waved "Don't worry brother, My Lady will clean this mess up for you."

Ella frowned and weakly looked over "Caroline" she whispered.

The woman nodded and smiled "I knew you could do it Ella, that's why I chose you."

Ella nodded and rested her head against Alucard's shoulder "That means I get to keep the necklace right?"

Alucard sighed in relief, Ella was going to be fine.

---

**Two days later:**

Ella smiled at JJ and James Jr "What do you want to know?"

JJ frowned "Who was the child?"

Alucard looked over "Emily. My sister in law."

"But I thought she died that night?"

He nodded "Charlotte discovered she had the ability to move through walls, but not for long, the curse she placed on Killham affected her too, she couldn't leave the castle for more then 10 minutes. She found Emily's body and brought it back with her, there she used her magic to bring the child back. Unfortunatly she created a new creature. Emily fed like a vampire but that seemed to be the only way she could keep her body looking fresh instead of decayed as it truly was. She liked to go around in the form of a male cat, she always loved the freedom cat's have and males always rule."

Ella snorted at that, "So she was big balls?"

He nodded "In the cat's form she remained the innocent child she was, but other then that, she was mostly a killing monster. In the end the only way I could talk to her was to keep her dazed. She wanted to rest so badly, she begged me to kill her."

Ella slipped her hand through Alucard's and squeezed it gently. "So she was responsible for the bite marks on my body and neck?"

Alucard nodded.

Ella looked over "Why did the ghouls listen to Caroline and why was she there?"

"Caroline blamed herself for Emily's death, she loved the child. So until Emily could rest she couldn't either, but for Emily to rest Charlotte had to be destroyed. Caroline kept rule over most of the castle, the women who have disappeared are all women she thought could help, none of them made it." He looked at James Jr "You should check the walls in the dungeon, Killham wasn't the only one with a fetish for walling up people."

James paled and nodded.

"As for the ghouls, I don't know why they listened to Caroline. Strange really." Alucard looked out the window and sighed "Time to say goodbye little mental."

Ella smiled and kissed James on the cheek "Bye." She turned and picked up JJ and spun him around "Here's my house phone number, my mobile or "cell" phone, my email, my…"

JJ kissed her lightly, "Take care my beautiful lassie."

Ella sobbed and hugged him tightly "I'll miss you JJ."

Alucard nodded to both men and tugged Ella away.

They sat in the car and watched as they left the town.

Ella frowned, "I feel like were missing something."

Alucard ignored her and looked out the window, he couldn't shake the feeling that she was right.

---

As soon as they arrived at Hellsing; Ella was out of the car and tackling Sarah to the ground "I missed you so much!"

Alucard shook his head and walked past them.

Ella grinned and jumped up "We have stories! And pictures!"

Alucard nodded as Integra came down the stairs, "Well, look who's back, the newlyweds. How was the honeymoon." Alucard had already filled her in on what had happened.

Ella looked over and hugged Integra "Oh it's horrible!" she started to sob "Horrible."

Integra awkwardly patted Ella twice on the back "Now it wasn't that bad, from what I heard you made some new friends."

Ella shook her head "Not that!"

Alucard and Integra exchanged confused looks "So what is it then?"

Ella looked up and wailed "_We forgot the camera!_"

---

**Killham Castle:**

Caroline looked over to her husband and smiled "Now we finally got rid of that bitch Charlotte, what shall we do?"

Lord Killham smiled "I think we'll just keep an eye on the No Life King and his bride for the moment."

Caroline grinned, her fangs glinted "I wonder if they've figured out that it was my ghouls who were attacking them yet?"

Killham laughed and kissed his wife "I doubt it, you have innocent down too well my love."

Caroline smiled once more "Soon we shall be the reigning vampires in the world, you shall be the No Life King and I shall be your Queen."

They laughed softly into the night.

---------------------

* * *

THE END!!!!!

_Thanks to:_

_SweetYuya_

_WannaBeNinja_

_eliina_

_castlevania_

_AND_

_Lady Nightlord_

_Okies people, I am soooooo sorry this took so long, but some of you might not realize that my nana has inoperable cancer so I'm spending more time with her then I am my writings. Never fear though. I won't abandon my stories._

_If I have not updated in a week, check my profile page, there should be my information and updates on writings._

_Next up is Christmas at Hellsing. 12 part story about Ella's first Christmas at Hellsing and how they all cope with the insanity._

_PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! _


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